Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Recharge: Reconnect - Synchronized [Part 3]

"Jesus, we welcome You in this place.
Come and heal our hearts tonight.
Tonight,
Heal our hearts tonight."

This year was a different year for retreat when it came to speakers. In the past, we've always had external speakers come and share insight and truth with us. This year it was internal.

We started looking for speakers a couple months back, we had one or two in mind but in the end things didn't pull through. One person in particular that I thought would be ideal to speak was Kirk Bartha. I've heard a lot of great things about this man, his heart, his life...there's always been a buzz about the way he lets the Spirit move in his life and let God have His way and move His way.

After a couple emails, Kirk told me that he wouldn't be able to make it that weekend. However, he said he'd be in town a week and a half before the retreat and would love to meet with Kat, myself, and other students.

That night, when Kat and I met with Kirk was the first time I actually sat down to talk with him and it was an intense night. I don't know what it was, actually perhaps I do, it was the Spirit that guided that night, the Spirit that led our conversations...there were moments when I heard stories or was told of something that typically would make me cautious or hesitant to believe...but there was such peace, truth, and humility...it was really cool.

One thing that I learned that night from Kirk was that discernment happens in a community. This would turnout to be one of the most important lessons I took to the CCF retreat as a leader.

To cut a long story short, there was a point in the night when Kirk turned to me and asked, "Are you still looking for a speaker?" At this point I thought, "Yes, He's changed his mind." Then he started talking about Kat and the story about her speaking at YOAH, then I thought, "How could I have missed it? I should've asked Kat, Kirk's gonna tell me to ask Kat." Then Kirk turns to me and says, "I think you need to speak. There's something you need to say."

That caught me by surprise...but I held onto it...the person I was asking to come speak at retreat just told me to speak instead.

So as I approached the committee to discern the whole speaker issue, we came to the agreement that it seemed like God was leading us to keep it internal this year. But rather than just have one speaker, we decided to split it off into three: Gizelle, Charles, and myself.

As I thought and prayed over the message I would give, one of the things I thought would be a good topic to preach on would be "Living Waters". But as I prayed and thought over a couple scriptures, something inside me was thinking, I don't think I should be talking about this. So taking the risk, I dropped the topic and decided to see where else God was leading me.

The afternoon we arrived at fellowship, after I had given my talk on community, I went straight to my committee and started asking them, "What do you feel the Spirit is doing?"...and throughout the retreat, almost at random, mostly guided, I kept going to people asking them what they perceived the Spirit is doing and then talking to the rest of the committee about changing plans and such to follow that...it was a really cool experience.

But after asking them that question, I gathered with Charles and Gizelle to talk about what was going on...I wasn't sure what they'd be talking about yet, but after I had asked Charles told me he felt like he was going to talk about Thirst...about how God is this living water that gives us the soul satisfaction that we need.

That's when it clicked...I thought of doing that talk, but didn't feel the Lord leading me to do it, so I dropped it...because the Lord had been leading Charles all this time to talk on it. God had been planning it out all along. Really cool.

One last story about the whole group discernment.

Sunday night was going to be our music worship night followed by a time of sharing where the guys and girls were split off into their own groups. However, as we had hoped, during our music worship time I felt the Lord was moving in the hearts of people there. Amidst the songs we sang, both planned and spontaneous, I felt like I just had to let God His thing...something else that Kirk told me to do...when God shows up, just step back.

After singing for who knows how long and after just basking in His presence...I felt like that place where we were, in our hearts, in our souls, in that room...God was doing something. And I felt like the Spirit was leading us to just stay in that room.

But I remembered, "discernment happens in a community"...so taking a step I've never done before, I stepped to the mic and said, "I feel like the Spirit's doing something right now and that He wants us to stay here...but discernment happens in a community, so I want to ask you if you feel like the Spirit is moving and you want to stay or if you want to go. So if you feel like we should stay, then just raise your hand." I looked around the room and I didn't really see many if any hands were raised. "How many of you feel like we should stay?" Then I saw about half the group's hands go up. "Ok, let's stay. Here's your time, you know what to do." And at that moment I just stepped back and let God do His thing.

I think we stayed for almost an hour in that room...people prayed on their own, some huddled together arms on each others shoulders crying and praying...some just sat still...others got together and began to get into some deep sharing which led to prayer...

Whatever it was, I just stepped back and watched God move in unique ways with each unique individual or group. It was awesome...especially to know God is moving.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Recharge:Reconnect - Gratitude [Part 2]

Saturday night as I sat in Fair Haven's dining hall eating from a plate filled with food from the buffet, I had a sudden realization of how blessed we are.

Sitting there eating such good food, looking around and seeing how we have a facility that is at least 3 times larger than what we've had in previous years...even the fact that people are serving us food (a blessing at a price...but a blessing nonetheless), I just realized how great God has been to this fellowship.

And I think what really topped it off was, as I thought about all these blessings we've received at Fair Havens, I knew that this was something we couldn't afford. All of this, was beyond our budget...but a sense of gratitude filled my heart because God provided what we could not...He wanted us to be blessed there and provided the money.

Who are we to have had such a blessing? The only adequate response I know of is just gratitude. We didn't deserve it.

Who are we? but yet He provided. Our God is amazing.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Recharge:Reconnect - Community [Part 1]


This past weekend on retreat was an incredible weekend.

I think one of the best ways I could sum it up would be the time when I was on my way out of Fair Havens, there was a sign at the end of the road just before we exited that said, "We beheld His Glory."

I think that's probably one of the coolest things. Let me expand on that a little bit.

Back in Biblical times, there used to be a rabbinical saying that when two or three gathered together the Shekinah (Glory of God) would be in their midst...think about it, because when Jesus came and said "when two or three gather together in my Name, then there I am with them"...Jesus was referring to Himself as the glory of God. But here's the interesting part...it was when two or three people...a community gathred in His name, that the Shekinah Glory, Jesus Himself, appeared...and that's exactly what I felt leaving this retreat...
We beheld His Glory...in the community.

This weekend I have been blessed so much, and I could not have envisioned this retreat to turn out the way it did. God is amazing and He works in amazing ways.

I have so many stories to tell, and if I were to type them all out right now, I'd get massive cramps in my hands from all the typing. So this is what I'm gonna do...for the next week or so, I'll try to post up one story each day along with whatever pictures I can find.

So here's the story for today:

For the first time, in what history I know of for CCF, we had a joint retreat where we had members of VCF come and attend our retreat as guests. This step on its own is so cool, because though only 7 or so of them came, this was what I felt as the first steps, the first waves of a deeper sense of unity developing among fellowships. It was awesome to serve them this weekend.

After we had arrived and settled in on Saturday, I gave a talk that afternoon about community. We walked through the Bible, from Genesis to the book of Acts, about at the central of God's essence and His plan has been community. God gave all of Himself to establish community here on earth, so why shouldn't we?

Towards the end of my talk, I quoted a professor by the name of Dr. Belzekien (who I essentially got this talk from) which said, "Church is either community or no church at all." That is so true when you consider the story God writes through the Bible and through human history.

And with a pause, I looked at this amazing group before me and I told them, "CCF is either community or not CCF at all. Community is not an option." It's part of God's plan and intention...and it's been absolutely incredible how God has grown UTCCF to become such a Christ-centred community through this year.

During one of my small groups, later on in the retreat, one of the girls from VCF shared something with us from her heart. She told us of how she had been in many retreats throughout her life...and they were all kind of the same thing, so she had an expectation that this retreat would be more or less similar to what happened in those. But that wasn't the case, there was something different. What she experienced at the retreat this year was really different from what she expected, in a good way.

She said that in previous retreats, it was about individuals helping individuals with their individual walk with God. But at this retreat, it wasn't about seeking God with a community, but seeking God as a community. There was a oneness in our community, that it wasn't about...let's gather together to talk about how to seek God, then we all go our own ways and try to seek Him. But rather, we gathered together, and as one, sought the Lord together.

That in itself was really encouraging...but what she said next, totally blew me away...

She then said, "For the rest of the year, I want to come to your Friday night programs so that I can learn from you guys how to do community."

At that point I was so humbled. I almost couldn't believe what she was saying. I was really moved by what she said...because it's so rare to have someone from another ministry come to yours and say that they want to learn. I'm so humbled by their humility. I admire that so much. This really is God's work and not mine.

In addition to that, there was another new comer to CCF who attends the church of a pastor friend of mine, who came up to me on the final day and said, "I really love what's going on here. Do you think I could come to your meetings so that I could see what it's like?" I'm so humbled at what God is doing at CCF. Because I know, it is He is increasing and I am decreasing...the way it's suppose to be.

God is up to something big...and I believe, this year is only just part of the beginning.

Stay tuned...

Two Special Days in February





Last Tuesday was Kat's birthday, and leading up to that day, I kept wondering, "What can I do to surprise her this year?" I mean, typically, the idea would be to buy her some kind of meaningful gift and treat her out for dinner at some nice place...but I thought...that's so typical.

So after thinking about it for a while, I thought to myself, why not cook her dinner using the cookbook that she gave me for my Christmas present? I thought, "Not a bad idea..."...that is until I came to details and realized I couldn't do it at my place...that'd be just awkward...or her place...that wouldn't work...

So I thought about it some more and then it occurred to me, my friend lives in an apartment by himself. So I emailed my friend and asked him to borrow his condo for the evening so I could make dinner for Kat and he said yes.

Nice.

So the Saturday while she was away on retreat, I gathered all the ingredients for the main components of the meal and practiced at home...didn't want to make a mistake or burn anything the day of. So I made some stuff and tested on my family just to make sure it was ok.

Monday night, I got a laundry basket and filled it up with all my cooking utensils and supplies and dropped it all off at my friend's place. On Tuesday, I got off work early (without telling Kat) and went over to my friend's place to marinade the food, bread the appetizer and just make sure everything was more or less assemble-and-cook ready for the night.

When I got to her place, I kept giving her hints that we were going to a nice restaurant, that it's a new place. My intention, to catch her in complete surprise.

So when she got in my car, I told her she had to wear a blindfold to the place we're going to b/c it's a surprise. When we arrived in the underground parking lot, I led her into the elevator up to my friend's condo. She had no clue what was going on. "Why is it so quite? Which restaurant are we going to?" So we got off the elevator, I took her into the condo, made her face the door, took off her blindfold and slipped a menu (that I had made) in her hands...

"I'll be your chef and your waiter tonight..."

;)

She was completely surprised. And I was so happy she was. She told me she totally didn't see it coming, haha I was really glad. If you want to check out how it turned out, go check out her website at katluksadventures.blogspot.com. I think it turned out pretty nice...that practice paid off.

Well the next day was Valentines day. We met up after I finished work and with a dozen roses, I picked her up from her house and took her to Richlane mall to eat...for a time in our relationship, we always went here to eat. Well, after we finished eating, we went back to her place b/c she had a surprise for me that she spent the whole day making.

I had no clue what it was...but after we arrived and I finally walked into this room...I was (as Kat phrased it) "swept off my feet". In an empty room in the basement, Kat cut out stars and stuck them onto the ceiling, and had hearts on strings coming from the ceiling. She had her laptop playing a couple of our songs, and white christmas lights and candles all around the room. And to top it off, she baked cookies and made chocolate dipped strawberries! They were soooooo good! It was such an awesome surprise.

Kat is absolutely incredible. That night, she reminded me of how she appreciates me so much. I am so blessed. Through the ups and downs of our relationship, God has been so faithful to bring us through.



Monday, February 12, 2007

Jehovah Jireh - God Provides




Coming into this year, I always wondered if by the end of this year, I would have the chance to share of an amazing story of God's provision...and last Friday, that story came.


Background information:

This year for the UTCCF retreat, we searched for a retreat site with a certain criteria. For weeks, Yuan (our retreat organizer) searched and searched with not many options to consider...they were all booked. Finally we came down to one option, Fair Havens. At first, the price they had offered was very costly, and considering that we are all students...there was no way we could pay somewhere up to $120/person just for accomodation and meals. So after some talking and negotiating, we ended up with a deal for $100/person. Even still, when we factored in the transportation + speaker + other misc costs, it would be easily $120/person, compared to previous years when it was only $80/person. So after a late night conversation with Yuan, I made the decision that it'd be too expensive and asked Yuan to cancel with Fair Havens because we just couldn't afford it.


This is where the story begins...


While I was in Urbana, I got an email from Yuan. It was actually a forward from our correspondant from Fair Havens. Essentially, after we had cancelled with Fair Havens, the lady we talked with went back to discuss with the staff at FH to see if they could further reduce the cost to accomodate us. They agreed on a price and came back to us saying, "We've tried to work it down a little more, will $92.50/person work for you?"


I was really moved. I knew there was a waiting list, where I'm sure other organizations would have taken our place probably could have paid the full price. Fair Havens was willing to give up a couple thousand dollars, just so they could accomodate poor university students like us. I was really impressed...they went the extra mile for us.


So after some discussions we said, "We'll take the offer".


God provided the retreat site.


But there was another issue on our hands...$92.50 only accounted for the accomodation and meals. With all our other costs, each person would still have to pay around $110. That's a lot of money. So we were left with the question, "How much should we charge for the retreat? How much could we ask/trust God to provide?"


At urbana God really spoke to me when the prayer coordinator shared a word that she had recieved years back from the Lord saying, "Why don't you pray something that takes me to be God to answer?" And as I reflected on it, I decided to do the same. I prayed and asked God to provide enough money so that people would only have to be charged $50-75.


So we went to the Student council to ask for money. We asked for a couple thousand and ended up with only 10% of what we had asked. So now we had to make a decision. We had enough to cover a couple dollars per person but we'd still be around $110 mark per person.


It was a tough decision. On one side, I began to ask God what was going on? Were my prayers not answered, or just not answered yet? What if someone came to me and said, "Mike, see how God hasn't provided. What this shows is your irresponsibility as chair with CCF's money. You took such a high risk, now you're stuck with either charging people too much or you're gonna let CCF take such a large hit (within the thousands of dollars)."


And as convinced I was that God would provide...as trusting as I was that God owned all things and a couple thousand is nothing too hard for God to provide...I worried. I really was concerned. I remember secret prayers that I would give up to God...honest ones, "God, I confess, I'm worried. I don't know where this money is going to come from. What lesson, what goal, what point are you trying to teach me? How am I suppose to lead this fellowship now? I know You can provide, please help my disbelief."


I still trusted God, but I struggled.


After discussing it with the committee we decided $85/person was a fair price to balance the cost and affordability. With that, we still had a gap of somewhere around $1500.


So what we did was think about fundraising methods, send letters to CCF alumni to explain the situation and ask for help, ask some local churches we knew, and primarily just pray.


Well last Friday was our last Friday before our retreat. It was a typical Friday night at CCF. When I got home after dropping off a couple people I got an email from Jon Chant (our treasurer)...and I couldn't believe it, but yet at the same time knew it was coming.


When Jon got home that night, he opened the little offering box that we pass around every Friday. Inside the box, he found an envelope with a post it note attached saying "UTCCF: God told me to give you this."


He opened the envelope and noticed a $100 bill inside. He thought, "Wow, a hundred dollars is quite a bit of money." But then he noticed that wasn't the only bill inside.


So he pulled out the contents and started to count...


1...





2...





3...





When he had finished counting...there were FIFTEEN $100 bills all together. $1500 in that envelope!!! He couldn't stop laughing and smiling...and when I read that, I started to just smile and feel this overwhelming sense of gratitude to the Lord and to that anonymous donor.


Wow. God is so faithful. God is so good.


God provided. And now there's peace in our hearts going to retreat.


If you've read this far, wow, you're a real trooper. Could I ask you for a favour? Please keep UTCCF in your prayers this week and this weekend. Prayer besides petitioning, is a request to join...join into what God is doing. I'm asking you to pray not just so that things go well with us, but because I would want you to have a part in this journey too.


There's this illustration I've used a couple times at CCF already of a scene from the Chronicles of Narnia movie. It was the part when in the blistering winter, when hope was so small, a little fox came to the children and the beavers...and in a confident whisper said, "Aslan is on the move."


God is on the move.