Chasing Daylight

Wide Awake

2010-03-26T06:28:00.000-07:00

Wow. After another 2 years, I ended up returning here again. Hello world of blog - it's nice to reacquaint myself after such a long time.

I don't think I'm going to bother trying to fill in all the details here of what's been going on these past two years. There's just too much goodness that God has blessed both Kat (who is now my incredible and lovely wife of 8 months) and I over this span of time.

But I think what's drawn me back to this place is that I believe it's time to put thoughts into words again, and let the process of putting words to paper (or rather to text type) to work it's introspective magic into some of the things that I think God has been speaking to me.

Hong Kong is a very busy place. It's crazy how easily days can go by without having a solid time to stand still and think, to reflect.

There's a lot that I want to say here, and I think it'll have to be split into many blogs, but the one I wanted to start with today is this one idea that has been stuck in my mind for while now.

A couple months ago, I was listening to this sermon series by Erwin McManus called "Wide Awake" and there was one thing that he said that hasn't stopped tugging on my heart since. He asked such a simple question that has left such a profound searching inside of me which was this:

"Why are our best dreams ones while we are asleep? Shouldn't our best dreams be the ones when we are awake?"

...

Just typing it out already makes me feel...whoa.

I want a life that is just drenched with meaning and kingdom purpose. I want a life of adventure with the Lord - exploring the depths of His love and goodness. I want to be courageous in making dreams reality. To see the kingdom up there, down here.

I want my life to be made of dreams while I'm wide awake.

Returning in Two Ways...

2008-01-23T22:52:00.000-08:00

Wow. I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted on this blog. But something came over me tonight as I was prepping for a leadership workshop I'll be giving tomorrow, to wander back to this site that I started.

What's really interesting is that the reason why I started this blog was to document the adventures God would lead Kat and I into when we headed to Hong Kong back in 2006. And now...in only a couple of months I'll be heading on another adventure, this time with a one-way ticket instead of the regular round-trip.

As some of you know (that is, if any of "you" actually still read this due to my lack of diligence), earlier this year I accepted a job to work for a company in Hong Kong. A pretty big shift I must say...a shift in expectation...a shift in my plans...a shift in what I thought...but I think a shift that God orchestrated. It's a long story, those weeks that I spent rehearsing responses to interview questions and researching prospective companies, but somehow through all of that God led and opened up a spot for me to actually move over to HK.

And it's exciting, yet at the same time...there's so much to think about. Kat, family, church, friends, career, more schooling, finding an apartment, what am I going to do when I get to HK, etc...but I'm reminded, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

I guess what makes adventures is that aspect of uncertainty, that thrill of the unknown, the lack of what's to come...but just like the wanderers in the desert guided by the cloud by day and fire by night...it isn't about knowing where you're going, it's about knowing who you're going with...and I'm glad that the cloud by day and fire by night that I'm following behind is the same one who took me from the darkness into the light...what have I to fear or worry? He is with me...always.

Glory in the Morning

2007-06-05T05:18:00.000-07:00

This morning as I walked out of my house a small moment of wonder happened. And since I haven't blogged for such a long time, I thought this would be a cool thing to share.

As I walked out of my house this morning at around 6:30 (which isn't too unusual for me...I usually go to work at 7/7:30 once or twice a week), the weather was cool, sunlight just breaking, some birds were chirping and it was just so quite...kinda like those mornings during a retreat when you try to wake up for sunrise devos and you know everyone else is still sleeping...it's kinda like finding treasure, an untouched moment of glory at the break of day.

So as I walked to my car and was about to head off to work, I thought, you know what, let me breathe in this moment for now. So I put my stuff in the car and stepped back outside, and all I could think of was just to sing, to sing to God in the peace of this moment...and there's been this song stuck in my head since this past sunday when I led it and I just feel it reach so deep inside me... it's that song, It Is Well With My Soul, esp. the third verse:

My sin, oh the bliss of that glorious thought
My sin, not in part but the whole
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord O my soul!

And there as I sang softly on the sidewalk...no cars, no one awake, just the dew setting, the birds chirping, the dawn breaking...I was almost in tears. Those profound and sweeping verse...Not just part of my sin, but all of it I bear it no more because it was nailed to the cross...what else, what other thought or outpouring of my heart than to say "Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord O my Soul!"

I was emailing Kat about it just a couple moments ago, and as I reflected on it, even then I was starting to get teary eyed...it's true, sometimes, the songs we sing on sundays resound the loudest during the week ahead of us and today it did...I bear it no more, what a powerful truth! no guilt or shame...Praise the Lord!

Hope (Demo)

2007-05-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

Just posted up a new demo track from our band. Check it out, the song is called "Hope". This is a song I'm really excited about. It really gets to the heart of our band...the idea that there is a hope that we can hang on to when all else looks bleak.

www.myspace.com/collidinglights

Upcoming Gigs

2007-05-14T19:53:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone,

So, in the next little while, I'll be posting up some newer songs on my myspace accounts...so stay tuned for those.

Colliding Lights: www.myspace.com/collidinglights
My page: www.myspace.com/michaellau

In the meantime, there's two gigs coming up.

May 18: JJ's Birthday
Really cool birthday idea...hold a talent show to raise money for children in impoverished areas of the Philippines to attend summer camp.

May 26: The Gist @ Kainos Fellowship (RHCCC)
If you're free that night, come check us out! Tell your friends, churches, fellowships, n' I hope to see you all there.

Something Like A Tornado

2007-04-23T14:56:00.000-07:00

As I was peacefully playing my guitar in my room, all of a sudden I noticed the wind and rain outside pick up. So I quickly went to my windows and closed them and watched. Suddenly gusts of rain swept at my window. I've never seen rain get blown that fast or that hard before. I looked outside and noticed our bbq out of place and our table outside knocked over. Bad storm I thought. Then our lights went off...after a while, they came back on and the wind died down. We went outside to see what went on...and it looked a lot worse than I thought.

Fences were torn apart, roof shingles littered everywhere, whole 30 foot trees were uprooted from the ground...one of the neighbors we know had an 8'x5' window sucked out of their kitchen and her whole kitchen was an incredible mess.

Who would've thought we'd have something like this in peaceful Richmond Hill...now the sun is up, birds are chirping, and firetruck, ambulance, and police alarms are blazing all around the neighborhood.

If you want to see more, I've uploaded it on youtube:

33 Dead at Viriginia Tech

2007-04-18T06:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I can't believe what I'm hearing. Typically everyday, I listen to 680 news, read the star, or browse the CNN website and I hear about the odd story here or there, or about the homicide that happened here. But the other day when I heard about how 33 people were shot to death on a campus in the States, I just couldn't control feeling so sad and upset about it.

32 people shot to death by a student...why!? Why is there such a darkness in us that would cause someone to do this?

Sorry this post isn't so bright, but over the past couple days/weeks death has been a pretty heavy reality around me.

A couple weeks back I recieved an email about how my friend had to return to Hong Kong immediately because his grandfather just passed away.

Last Friday, my friend called me. In tears, she said, "Mike, my father's dying..." and that night he passed away.

Last night, I received an email from yet another friend. His aunt and uncle were on an anniversary and the uncle died in a sudden accident.

Sometimes...I just don't understand. I mean, perhaps it's just me, but I just feel broken inside on behalf of these people. To think of the pain, the hurt, the suffering they go through...I can't think it, it's beyond what I know.

I would think, when things like these happen, people start to think about God. Does He exist? If He does, does He care?

In a world stained in darkness like what happened in Virginia Tech, the AIDs pandemic around the world, and the crisis in Darfur my hope is in knowing there is a God that exists, He does care, He has done something about it and is still doing something about it now...of which one is calling us to join Him by praying.

New Song Posted

2007-03-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

just wanted to say i've been spending a lot of time on that myspace account hahah.

i just posted another song, it might be a little more familiar to most of you. hope you enjoy and are blessed.

www.myspace.com/michaellau

myspace adventures

2007-03-24T00:43:00.000-07:00

So lately, I've been really toying around with the idea of putting my music up. I've always thought about singing up a myspace account, but never really thought I had anything to put up. So finally I've ventured into the myspace realm and have come up with two sites. Check it out when you get the chance:

Worship Songs:
www.myspace.com/michaellau

Colliding Lights (My Band):
www.myspace.com/collidinglights

Enjoy.

I'll give a proper post soon.

Recharge: Reconnect - Synchronized [Part 3]

2007-02-28T05:34:00.000-08:00

"Jesus, we welcome You in this place.

Come and heal our hearts tonight.

Tonight,

Heal our hearts tonight."

This year was a different year for retreat when it came to speakers. In the past, we've always had external speakers come and share insight and truth with us. This year it was internal.

We started looking for speakers a couple months back, we had one or two in mind but in the end things didn't pull through. One person in particular that I thought would be ideal to speak was Kirk Bartha. I've heard a lot of great things about this man, his heart, his life...there's always been a buzz about the way he lets the Spirit move in his life and let God have His way and move His way.

After a couple emails, Kirk told me that he wouldn't be able to make it that weekend. However, he said he'd be in town a week and a half before the retreat and would love to meet with Kat, myself, and other students.

That night, when Kat and I met with Kirk was the first time I actually sat down to talk with him and it was an intense night. I don't know what it was, actually perhaps I do, it was the Spirit that guided that night, the Spirit that led our conversations...there were moments when I heard stories or was told of something that typically would make me cautious or hesitant to believe...but there was such peace, truth, and humility...it was really cool.

One thing that I learned that night from Kirk was that discernment happens in a community. This would turnout to be one of the most important lessons I took to the CCF retreat as a leader.

To cut a long story short, there was a point in the night when Kirk turned to me and asked, "Are you still looking for a speaker?" At this point I thought, "Yes, He's changed his mind." Then he started talking about Kat and the story about her speaking at YOAH, then I thought, "How could I have missed it? I should've asked Kat, Kirk's gonna tell me to ask Kat." Then Kirk turns to me and says, "I think you need to speak. There's something you need to say."

That caught me by surprise...but I held onto it...the person I was asking to come speak at retreat just told me to speak instead.

So as I approached the committee to discern the whole speaker issue, we came to the agreement that it seemed like God was leading us to keep it internal this year. But rather than just have one speaker, we decided to split it off into three: Gizelle, Charles, and myself.

As I thought and prayed over the message I would give, one of the things I thought would be a good topic to preach on would be "Living Waters". But as I prayed and thought over a couple scriptures, something inside me was thinking, I don't think I should be talking about this. So taking the risk, I dropped the topic and decided to see where else God was leading me.

The afternoon we arrived at fellowship, after I had given my talk on community, I went straight to my committee and started asking them, "What do you feel the Spirit is doing?"...and throughout the retreat, almost at random, mostly guided, I kept going to people asking them what they perceived the Spirit is doing and then talking to the rest of the committee about changing plans and such to follow that...it was a really cool experience.

But after asking them that question, I gathered with Charles and Gizelle to talk about what was going on...I wasn't sure what they'd be talking about yet, but after I had asked Charles told me he felt like he was going to talk about Thirst...about how God is this living water that gives us the soul satisfaction that we need.

That's when it clicked...I thought of doing that talk, but didn't feel the Lord leading me to do it, so I dropped it...because the Lord had been leading Charles all this time to talk on it. God had been planning it out all along. Really cool.

One last story about the whole group discernment.

Sunday night was going to be our music worship night followed by a time of sharing where the guys and girls were split off into their own groups. However, as we had hoped, during our music worship time I felt the Lord was moving in the hearts of people there. Amidst the songs we sang, both planned and spontaneous, I felt like I just had to let God His thing...something else that Kirk told me to do...when God shows up, just step back.

After singing for who knows how long and after just basking in His presence...I felt like that place where we were, in our hearts, in our souls, in that room...God was doing something. And I felt like the Spirit was leading us to just stay in that room.

But I remembered, "discernment happens in a community"...so taking a step I've never done before, I stepped to the mic and said, "I feel like the Spirit's doing something right now and that He wants us to stay here...but discernment happens in a community, so I want to ask you if you feel like the Spirit is moving and you want to stay or if you want to go. So if you feel like we should stay, then just raise your hand." I looked around the room and I didn't really see many if any hands were raised. "How many of you feel like we should stay?" Then I saw about half the group's hands go up. "Ok, let's stay. Here's your time, you know what to do." And at that moment I just stepped back and let God do His thing.

I think we stayed for almost an hour in that room...people prayed on their own, some huddled together arms on each others shoulders crying and praying...some just sat still...others got together and began to get into some deep sharing which led to prayer...

Whatever it was, I just stepped back and watched God move in unique ways with each unique individual or group. It was awesome...especially to know God is moving.

Recharge:Reconnect - Gratitude [Part 2]

2007-02-21T12:16:00.000-08:00

Saturday night as I sat in Fair Haven's dining hall eating from a plate filled with food from the buffet, I had a sudden realization of how blessed we are.

Sitting there eating such good food, looking around and seeing how we have a facility that is at least 3 times larger than what we've had in previous years...even the fact that people are serving us food (a blessing at a price...but a blessing nonetheless), I just realized how great God has been to this fellowship.

And I think what really topped it off was, as I thought about all these blessings we've received at Fair Havens, I knew that this was something we couldn't afford. All of this, was beyond our budget...but a sense of gratitude filled my heart because God provided what we could not...He wanted us to be blessed there and provided the money.

Who are we to have had such a blessing? The only adequate response I know of is just gratitude. We didn't deserve it.

Who are we? but yet He provided. Our God is amazing.

Recharge:Reconnect - Community [Part 1]

2007-02-20T11:26:00.000-08:00

This past weekend on retreat was an incredible weekend.

I think one of the best ways I could sum it up would be the time when I was on my way out of Fair Havens, there was a sign at the end of the road just before we exited that said, "We beheld His Glory."

I think that's probably one of the coolest things. Let me expand on that a little bit.

Back in Biblical times, there used to be a rabbinical saying that when two or three gathered together the Shekinah (Glory of God) would be in their midst...think about it, because when Jesus came and said "when two or three gather together in my Name, then there I am with them"...Jesus was referring to Himself as the glory of God. But here's the interesting part...it was when two or three people...a community gathred in His name, that the Shekinah Glory, Jesus Himself, appeared...and that's exactly what I felt leaving this retreat...

We beheld His Glory...in the community.

This weekend I have been blessed so much, and I could not have envisioned this retreat to turn out the way it did. God is amazing and He works in amazing ways.

I have so many stories to tell, and if I were to type them all out right now, I'd get massive cramps in my hands from all the typing. So this is what I'm gonna do...for the next week or so, I'll try to post up one story each day along with whatever pictures I can find.

So here's the story for today:

For the first time, in what history I know of for CCF, we had a joint retreat where we had members of VCF come and attend our retreat as guests. This step on its own is so cool, because though only 7 or so of them came, this was what I felt as the first steps, the first waves of a deeper sense of unity developing among fellowships. It was awesome to serve them this weekend.

After we had arrived and settled in on Saturday, I gave a talk that afternoon about community. We walked through the Bible, from Genesis to the book of Acts, about at the central of God's essence and His plan has been community. God gave all of Himself to establish community here on earth, so why shouldn't we?

Towards the end of my talk, I quoted a professor by the name of Dr. Belzekien (who I essentially got this talk from) which said, "Church is either community or no church at all." That is so true when you consider the story God writes through the Bible and through human history.

And with a pause, I looked at this amazing group before me and I told them, "CCF is either community or not CCF at all. Community is not an option." It's part of God's plan and intention...and it's been absolutely incredible how God has grown UTCCF to become such a Christ-centred community through this year.

During one of my small groups, later on in the retreat, one of the girls from VCF shared something with us from her heart. She told us of how she had been in many retreats throughout her life...and they were all kind of the same thing, so she had an expectation that this retreat would be more or less similar to what happened in those. But that wasn't the case, there was something different. What she experienced at the retreat this year was really different from what she expected, in a good way.

She said that in previous retreats, it was about individuals helping individuals with their individual walk with God. But at this retreat, it wasn't about seeking God with a community, but seeking God as a community. There was a oneness in our community, that it wasn't about...let's gather together to talk about how to seek God, then we all go our own ways and try to seek Him. But rather, we gathered together, and as one, sought the Lord together.

That in itself was really encouraging...but what she said next, totally blew me away...

She then said, "For the rest of the year, I want to come to your Friday night programs so that I can learn from you guys how to do community."

At that point I was so humbled. I almost couldn't believe what she was saying. I was really moved by what she said...because it's so rare to have someone from another ministry come to yours and say that they want to learn. I'm so humbled by their humility. I admire that so much. This really is God's work and not mine.

In addition to that, there was another new comer to CCF who attends the church of a pastor friend of mine, who came up to me on the final day and said, "I really love what's going on here. Do you think I could come to your meetings so that I could see what it's like?" I'm so humbled at what God is doing at CCF. Because I know, it is He is increasing and I am decreasing...the way it's suppose to be.

God is up to something big...and I believe, this year is only just part of the beginning.

Stay tuned...

Two Special Days in February

2007-02-20T10:23:00.000-08:00

Last Tuesday was Kat's birthday, and leading up to that day, I kept wondering, "What can I do to surprise her this year?" I mean, typically, the idea would be to buy her some kind of meaningful gift and treat her out for dinner at some nice place...but I thought...that's so typical.

So after thinking about it for a while, I thought to myself, why not cook her dinner using the cookbook that she gave me for my Christmas present? I thought, "Not a bad idea..."...that is until I came to details and realized I couldn't do it at my place...that'd be just awkward...or her place...that wouldn't work...

So I thought about it some more and then it occurred to me, my friend lives in an apartment by himself. So I emailed my friend and asked him to borrow his condo for the evening so I could make dinner for Kat and he said yes.

Nice.

So the Saturday while she was away on retreat, I gathered all the ingredients for the main components of the meal and practiced at home...didn't want to make a mistake or burn anything the day of. So I made some stuff and tested on my family just to make sure it was ok.

Monday night, I got a laundry basket and filled it up with all my cooking utensils and supplies and dropped it all off at my friend's place. On Tuesday, I got off work early (without telling Kat) and went over to my friend's place to marinade the food, bread the appetizer and just make sure everything was more or less assemble-and-cook ready for the night.

When I got to her place, I kept giving her hints that we were going to a nice restaurant, that it's a new place. My intention, to catch her in complete surprise.

So when she got in my car, I told her she had to wear a blindfold to the place we're going to b/c it's a surprise. When we arrived in the underground parking lot, I led her into the elevator up to my friend's condo. She had no clue what was going on. "Why is it so quite? Which restaurant are we going to?" So we got off the elevator, I took her into the condo, made her face the door, took off her blindfold and slipped a menu (that I had made) in her hands...

"I'll be your chef and your waiter tonight..."

;)

She was completely surprised. And I was so happy she was. She told me she totally didn't see it coming, haha I was really glad. If you want to check out how it turned out, go check out her website at katluksadventures.blogspot.com. I think it turned out pretty nice...that practice paid off.

Well the next day was Valentines day. We met up after I finished work and with a dozen roses, I picked her up from her house and took her to Richlane mall to eat...for a time in our relationship, we always went here to eat. Well, after we finished eating, we went back to her place b/c she had a surprise for me that she spent the whole day making.

I had no clue what it was...but after we arrived and I finally walked into this room...I was (as Kat phrased it) "swept off my feet". In an empty room in the basement, Kat cut out stars and stuck them onto the ceiling, and had hearts on strings coming from the ceiling. She had her laptop playing a couple of our songs, and white christmas lights and candles all around the room. And to top it off, she baked cookies and made chocolate dipped strawberries! They were soooooo good! It was such an awesome surprise.

Kat is absolutely incredible. That night, she reminded me of how she appreciates me so much. I am so blessed. Through the ups and downs of our relationship, God has been so faithful to bring us through.

Jehovah Jireh - God Provides

2007-02-12T08:43:00.000-08:00

Coming into this year, I always wondered if by the end of this year, I would have the chance to share of an amazing story of God's provision...and last Friday, that story came.

Background information:

This year for the UTCCF retreat, we searched for a retreat site with a certain criteria. For weeks, Yuan (our retreat organizer) searched and searched with not many options to consider...they were all booked. Finally we came down to one option, Fair Havens. At first, the price they had offered was very costly, and considering that we are all students...there was no way we could pay somewhere up to $120/person just for accomodation and meals. So after some talking and negotiating, we ended up with a deal for $100/person. Even still, when we factored in the transportation + speaker + other misc costs, it would be easily $120/person, compared to previous years when it was only $80/person. So after a late night conversation with Yuan, I made the decision that it'd be too expensive and asked Yuan to cancel with Fair Havens because we just couldn't afford it.

This is where the story begins...

While I was in Urbana, I got an email from Yuan. It was actually a forward from our correspondant from Fair Havens. Essentially, after we had cancelled with Fair Havens, the lady we talked with went back to discuss with the staff at FH to see if they could further reduce the cost to accomodate us. They agreed on a price and came back to us saying, "We've tried to work it down a little more, will $92.50/person work for you?"

I was really moved. I knew there was a waiting list, where I'm sure other organizations would have taken our place probably could have paid the full price. Fair Havens was willing to give up a couple thousand dollars, just so they could accomodate poor university students like us. I was really impressed...they went the extra mile for us.

So after some discussions we said, "We'll take the offer".

God provided the retreat site.

But there was another issue on our hands...$92.50 only accounted for the accomodation and meals. With all our other costs, each person would still have to pay around $110. That's a lot of money. So we were left with the question, "How much should we charge for the retreat? How much could we ask/trust God to provide?"

At urbana God really spoke to me when the prayer coordinator shared a word that she had recieved years back from the Lord saying, "Why don't you pray something that takes me to be God to answer?" And as I reflected on it, I decided to do the same. I prayed and asked God to provide enough money so that people would only have to be charged $50-75.

So we went to the Student council to ask for money. We asked for a couple thousand and ended up with only 10% of what we had asked. So now we had to make a decision. We had enough to cover a couple dollars per person but we'd still be around $110 mark per person.

It was a tough decision. On one side, I began to ask God what was going on? Were my prayers not answered, or just not answered yet? What if someone came to me and said, "Mike, see how God hasn't provided. What this shows is your irresponsibility as chair with CCF's money. You took such a high risk, now you're stuck with either charging people too much or you're gonna let CCF take such a large hit (within the thousands of dollars)."

And as convinced I was that God would provide...as trusting as I was that God owned all things and a couple thousand is nothing too hard for God to provide...I worried. I really was concerned. I remember secret prayers that I would give up to God...honest ones, "God, I confess, I'm worried. I don't know where this money is going to come from. What lesson, what goal, what point are you trying to teach me? How am I suppose to lead this fellowship now? I know You can provide, please help my disbelief."

I still trusted God, but I struggled.

After discussing it with the committee we decided $85/person was a fair price to balance the cost and affordability. With that, we still had a gap of somewhere around $1500.

So what we did was think about fundraising methods, send letters to CCF alumni to explain the situation and ask for help, ask some local churches we knew, and primarily just pray.

Well last Friday was our last Friday before our retreat. It was a typical Friday night at CCF. When I got home after dropping off a couple people I got an email from Jon Chant (our treasurer)...and I couldn't believe it, but yet at the same time knew it was coming.

When Jon got home that night, he opened the little offering box that we pass around every Friday. Inside the box, he found an envelope with a post it note attached saying "UTCCF: God told me to give you this."

He opened the envelope and noticed a $100 bill inside. He thought, "Wow, a hundred dollars is quite a bit of money." But then he noticed that wasn't the only bill inside.

So he pulled out the contents and started to count...

1...

2...

3...

When he had finished counting...there were FIFTEEN $100 bills all together. $1500 in that envelope!!! He couldn't stop laughing and smiling...and when I read that, I started to just smile and feel this overwhelming sense of gratitude to the Lord and to that anonymous donor.

Wow. God is so faithful. God is so good.

God provided. And now there's peace in our hearts going to retreat.

If you've read this far, wow, you're a real trooper. Could I ask you for a favour? Please keep UTCCF in your prayers this week and this weekend. Prayer besides petitioning, is a request to join...join into what God is doing. I'm asking you to pray not just so that things go well with us, but because I would want you to have a part in this journey too.

There's this illustration I've used a couple times at CCF already of a scene from the Chronicles of Narnia movie. It was the part when in the blistering winter, when hope was so small, a little fox came to the children and the beavers...and in a confident whisper said, "Aslan is on the move."

God is on the move.

The Master Chess Player

2007-01-23T13:29:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, I know...it's time for an update...

This is a really short one for now, I'll update more later...

But when I reflect on what God's been doing in the past 2 years (including this year) at UTCCF, I can't help but think of Him as master chess player...moving His pieces around, tactically, specifically, strategically...all for the killer move. God's been moving all this time, and I think I'm actually wrong in saying in the past 2 years...because ever since UT begun, God moved.

And I think He's nearing his last ones with regards to UT. I think all those late night prayers, all those passion-filled conversations, and late night dreaming for our campus...it's like every time something like that happens, the temperature of the kettle rises a little more...and just like before it whistles from the boiling water...there's those slight rumbles and bubbles...that appear here, and there...

the temperature, is rising...
the pieces, are moving...
the forecast for revival...

...coming.

And one of the next big move in this bigger picture, I believe is here: http://uofthop.wordpress.com/

I really encourage, student of UT, member of CCF, or not...please check it out and join us even if you don't sign up, but if you want a challenge, sign up.

MMMMMMMMMMEEERRRRRRRRRRRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2006-12-24T21:04:00.001-08:00

Spiritual Architecture: A Song Set in Stone

2006-12-07T07:26:00.000-08:00

I was checking out Genuine's flickr site w/ all the pictures he's been taking lately. I've always been a fan for cathedrals. Once I learned a little about the history of them, it really spoke out to me. So when I saw this picture, I thought I'd take a moment to write out a reflection on a moment I found myself in the other week.

It was Sunday afternoon, after church I decided to just take some time off on my own. Solitude. Silence. It was something I've been craving for since the last time Kat and I went to Peterborough. So seeking a quiet place, I decided to go check out if the cathedral over by Woodbine and Major Mac (picture above). When I pulled up to the gate, I realized it was locked, so I parked in a nearby residential area and just sat in my car staring out into this open space with this cathedral sitting right in the middle.

I just wanted some time with God. It's been so busy at CCF, at work, at church...it's that hustling and bustling that makes my body crave for stillness...so I just sat there, writing in a green notepad a prayer to my God.

And as I was writing, just telling Him how I loved sitting there writing to Him, how I really like the view of the cathedral I was beginning to just draw on the architecture, spiritual lessons on who God is. I remember how I was told once that back in the old days, cathedrals were built - like most of our praise songs today - to direct people's attentions to God.

So as I wrote about what I observed from a distance, I began to observe characteristics of God.

...I love how the cathedral is tall, it reminds me to look up to You, the one who I find strength, the one my eyes should be set upon, the one who is sovereign reigning over all things.
< ...I love how the tips are capped with gold, it reminds me of Your majesty, Your royalty, Your kingship.

...I love how the cathedral is big, it reminds me of Your grandness, of Your greatness, of Your otherness.

...I love how the cathedral is built with stone, it reminds me that You are a firm rock, the rock on which I stand, the source of my hope and strength.

Spiritual architecture...it's like a song set in 3-D...a painting drawn with stones piled a hundred feet high...it was like a window through time, when I saw as the peasants did...the ones who couldn't read, and depended on the stain glass windows inside to convey the stories of the prodigal son, the lost sheep, the great sacrifice, and the open grave...

...to me it was a moment when I heard a song set in stone and directing me to my God.

Our God is an awesome God.

Driveway Meditations on Being a Leader

2006-11-13T17:45:00.000-08:00

Driveway meditations. Sometimes when I drive, I turn the music low...or i tune the music out in my head, to give way to some reflective thinking on what's been going on. Relationships, work, ministry, my walk with God...the type of thinking can be anything...but what makes it a driveway meditation? It's when I finally get to my house and I've raised the parking brake and I can't seem to get out of the car. I just sit there and think, meditate, pray, or just worship. It's been one of my secret sanctuaries...sacred moments sitting in my grey Corolla, silence with the floodlight...those are my driveway meditations...and tonight I had one of those times...

This year has been an awesome year so far. I've been in places where I've learned much, and watched God move in amazing ways. It truly has been such a privilege to work with what I think the greatest team I've ever been in this type of ministry with.

But being leader isn't always easy. Just like a pyramid, when you're at the top there's always the perception that you're on your own. There's no one beside you who understands you. There's always that perception. I haven't met a leader who didn't at one point feel that sense of loneliness. It happens...and tonight that feeling came like a small whisper around again for me. Sometimes it doesn't have to be because someone is against you, or that there's been a mistake that you've made...sometimes all it takes is the pressure and the eyes watching you that will lead you into feeling so alone...the things through the grapevine you hear of yourself...the self-questioning, "Have I been doing things right? Have I been failing all this time? Is anyone following me? ... Noone feels the same, noone understands the weight on my shoulders, noone knows the tension I feel everyday seeing how things are yet knowing how things could be..."

It's tough being a leader...

But as I sat there in my car contemplating the struggle...I began to think of one of the greatest treasures a leader can ever receive...honest appreciation and encouragement. They're like drops of water from heaven in on the lips of a parched runner fighting for the finish line. Cuz being a leader is hard...it's hard cuz it takes work, it takes wisdom, it takes heart...it drains you because when you're caught up in something as important and passionate as the mission of saving souls, you can't think of what happens if you were to give anything less than 100%. And you push and push...i push and push...and even when things are going well, even when nights end with a bang, even with influxes of attendence and participation...all a leader may need something to prevent himself or herself from cracking on the inside is that drop of heaven from your lips...from my lips...that honest appreciation, that genuine encouragement, that thoughtful and insightful affirmation...

Before leading CCF I've been out of this kind of leadership for years, and when I came back, I was a little fearful that I would've forgotten what it would be like to lead...how to make decisions...how to guide spiritually...and whether or not I was cut out for this kind of thing. That's why every email I've received, every "I believe in you", every change of perspective I've received...I treasure them...because for whatever reason, they're rare. As rare as gold. And for everyone who's done that for me...from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for them.

One last thought for this post...

This past Friday night during CCF, when I sat down after giving my talk...I felt discouraged. I felt like I didn't do the greatest I could...I felt like I missed out on something, or extended too long yet still missed something...I felt I lost during moments that I intended to be deep and impactful, and I was met by laughter...

Yet when I sat there praying to God, telling Him how I wasn't feeling too great afterwards...He reminded me, in that still soft voice like He usually speaks in, "Even still, at this moment I'm working in people's hearts." And then I felt a peace overcome me...it's not up to me...in fact, even when I feel like I've messed up, He's still working.

That very evening when we went to Kowloon, I sat beside one of the most gifted encouragers I know. I decided to reveal some of how I was feeling...some of the disappointment I felt...and with certainty in his eyes, he reminded me...he encouraged me...he told me that during the prayer time afterwards, there were people crying, there were people putting their arms around others, there were groups praying for one another...God was moving. He was there. People were moved...and then it dawned me as well...even when night's don't go as planned...what matters is when God moves. And my greatest treasure as a leader is not the evening programs that go well, but the lives that are changed, the souls that have grown, and the leaders that are born through the process. More and more, I'm beginning to convince myself...that perhaps God's greatest moves happen in time rather than just instances.

What an insightful affirmation...for me...that picked up my night. That restored to me a sense of joy...for me that was a reminder from my Lord through His servant, that He's still working...

Encouragements...

And tonight...tonight...as I thought of this whole idea of encouragements...the health it brings to a leader...I experienced something of my own. That the greatest encouragement is when you're sitting on your driveway, meditating and praying...and you hear the encouragement of all encouragements...not because of the words, but because of who's giving it...tonight I felt the Lord tell me..."You're on the right path..." and it was the drop from heaven that quenched the loneliness.

Open up your hearts to Him...

2006-10-24T21:11:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been listening over and over again to the song Tom Read wrote that captured my heart's expression while I was in Hong Kong...

"Open up you heavenly gates
Let the King of Glory in
Open up your hearts to Him
Let the King of Glory in."

Last Saturday I led our joint church missions conference into singing this song, and when we got to the chorus, I just let myself go in singing this song out. B/c the Word says that the Lord resides in the praises of His people, and that the Kingdom of Heaven is within you. We are His temple, and His Spirit is residing in us. How awesome can that be? It's beyond me. God is such an awesome God.

CCF
Lately God has been doing some amazing stuff at CCF. Two weeks ago, I felt the Lord lead us at CCF to give an alter call after our regular Friday service. I was pumped, excited and just anticipating God's move. I began to realize that as a leader, all I need to do is just provide the opportunity for God to move. Two weeks ago, one of my friends came to Christ. He's been at CCF, going to church, and studying the Word for the longest of time, but hadn't made the decision till that night. The week following, he led a Bible study. I sat in the Bible study and he did an awesome job.

Last Monday, I sat down with the committee and asked them for feedback. But more than just feedback on the program and how things went and what people thought...I asked them, "What is the spiritual state of CCF? What is God doing at CCF? What are some of the hints He's left us with of what He's doing? What are some the glimpses of where He wants to bring us?" And after thinking through it and reflecting we realized two things:
1. Provide the opportunity for people to believe in Christ for the first time on Friday large groups.
2. Emphasize small groups.

Last Friday, based on those two things, we opened the floor again for anyone who wanted to believe in Christ for the first time...and FOUR people signified that they wanted to make that decision! Our God is an awesome God!

And with each week of CCF that passes by, I'm beginning to convince myself that I've found the key to a successful ministry. It's not in better plans, better strategies, or ideas...but it's in obeying the answer to the question, "God what are You doing? How can I join in?" Never before have I placed myself in the leadership position of just following fully in this sense. And since I've stepped into this role and into following, I see more and more how great God is and how small I am...and all I need to keep doing is just ask and see where God is moving and watch Him do amazing things.

Open up your hearts to Him...and watch the King of Glory come in.

P.S. If you want to check out this song and its songwriter, you can find him here at: http://www.thomasread.net

He's up to something big...

2006-09-29T23:11:00.000-07:00

utccf
Tonight was our first official large group gathering. We moved to a new venue for just this week at Hart House.

The schedule started today at 4:30pm. It was suppose to be a time of prayer. I was a little late so when I walked into the room I saw people chatting, practicing music, setting up stuff...but in the middle of this hallway I saw a group of girls with their eyes closed, sitting in a circle praying. So I decided, since my purpose of arriving at this time was to pray, I was going to join them. So I pulled up a chair and began to just listen in and agree to what they were praying.

When things were settling a bit, I decided it was my turn to pray. And as I prayed I remember one thing that really impressed into my heart. That as I walked into this room, it really moved me to see a group of girls gathered together praying when others were doing other things around them. And I remember so clearly what I came next...I began to pray expressing how I was so blessed by these girls' hearts for change in this campus and that they knew where the key to that change was...in prayer. They were right on.

To sum it up. I was excited, nervous, and anticipating great things...and God ended up taking me down an incredible road tonight. Tonight was yet another time in the past couple weeks when I've just felt so small, so humbled, to think that God would choose me to be a part of this great big plan that He had.

And I honestly think God's up to something big this year and we're not going have to wait till the end of the year to see it. It's coming quick. Frosh BBQ was good, OD was awesome, Retreat was amazing, and tonight was incredible. I don't think I've seen so many people in CCF in the times that I've been there before. It wasn't because of the program, b/c no one really knew what tonight was about till they arrived. It was God working. It was His community in action. It was His Spirit moving.

And all I can say is that I am so small and He is so big. Every week all I've got to offer is just a couple of loaves and fish, and He just keeps taking it and doing something incredible to it. I serve such an amazing God!

Keep praying for CCF and all the other fellowships at UT and at other universities. God's on the move, and the effect is starting to surface.

He's up to something... and it's BIG.

The Greatest Girl Ever...

2006-09-25T21:34:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago, it struck 12 and I left my life of 20 and with no options but one, stepped into the life of an early twenty year old.

After I finished my classes, I went to pick up Kat who was waiting to surprise me by bringing me out to dinner. At first she was gonna blind fold me and drive, but she didn't have the car, so she just said "Drive, and i'll tell you where to turn... I hope we find it." hahah

And so we drove down the DVP, onto Bloor, turning at Avenue, then onto a side street of one of the upper class districts of Toronto. I still had no idea where she was bringing me, until we walked a bit on Cumberland Rd. and then I saw the sign of a restaurant that sounded really familiar and then it hit me...that's where she's bringing me. Sassafraz.

What a nice surprise. I never would've guessed coming here.

And after a little shuffling tables, we ended up sitting at a table on the upper floor. Nice. Quiet. Classy. Intimate. It was just a good place to have a nice meal and not have to be so distracted by conversations of neighbors or the sense of busyness that overflowed from busy waitors darting.

We both had a really nice dinner and then I opened up the present that Kat gave me. When I opened it, I was just so...happy. =)

She made me a scrap book of all of our adventures together in Asia.

As I flipped through the memories, it was just so cool to laugh, remind each other and reminisce of the times we were across the world together.

I'm so blessed to be in this relationship together. And it has been amazing and just such an act of grace that the Lord granted us the summer to experience what we had experienced in Asia together.

Thanks for the amazing night. You're awesome! <3

2006-09-24T21:02:00.000-07:00

have u ever been so frustrated with yourself? wonder how could you forget the most important things to you?

why am i so forgetful? where have I arrived? why do i end up like this? this heartache so deserving. it's getting harder and harder to believe. i'm sorry.

confused. struggling. scattered. tired. regretful.

sometimes i'm hesitant to take a next step, scared it might be the wrong one.

One More Time...

2006-09-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

So it's been a month since I've been back. I've really done a poor job at keeping this update. Sorry for all of you who've been checking, I'll try to be more diligent on this.

Well just so everyone has some sort of idea what I've been doing this past month...I'm just finishing up my first month at work which has been pretty cool. We just finished a one night retreat with CCF and last Friday was Orientation Dinner which was absolutely awesome. Praise God!

But in the midst of it, I've been feeling tired. September was and still is a busy month and the thing that I craved the most was just support and an understanding. I'm thankful for all those close to me that have been adjusting with me as I slip into a new lifestyle now that I'm working.

So that's a really small recap of what's been going on.

Oh yea, I also turned 21 in the past month. For all of you who came to my birthday party and chipped in for my present, thank you so much! I'm really grateful and I recognize how blessed I am to have friends like all of you.

In a couple weeks I'll be back with the band, and hopefully we'll pull through Song 1 for one final time and actually get a good recording of it. Btw, if any of you know of any gigs coming up let us know, cuz we're in the process of looking right now. Oh yea, if u've got a band name suggestion, that'd help too since we're still nameless. hahah

But onto something a little more indepth, a little more closer inside.

Sometimes I wonder how I'm doing. Sometimes I wonder if I've got it right. I remember it like yesterday...this past week has been a pretty hectic week planning and making last minute arrangements for the big unexpected influx of people coming to CCF's camping retreat. I was excited, quite excited. I felt the tension, the anxiousness, but also excitement just feeling deep inside God's got a bigger plan. That He's got a bigger picture in progress. I just remember countless times praying to God, "What's your plan? How can I follow You and join in what You're doing?"

And as we got there Friday for CCF and I opened the retreat with a prayer, it began to rain. I rushed to get a bunch of people to build a bigger meeting place with what limited tarps, poles and rope we could find as the rest of CCF was playing games and breaking the ice. When we finished, we ate dinner under our tarped area.

I was anxious at this point, just wondering wondering and wondering. I got to the point where I just walked up to Jon and told him, "Hey, if anyone's looking for me, I'll be in my car." And so I walked to my car in the rain, sat down, closed the door and stared out the windshield as the rain hit one by one.

I slowed down. I paused for a while. I breathed deeply and with what I could, I just began to pray. I was anxious. I was tense. I was questioning. And in the midst of it, I just prayed, "God what are You up to? What do You want me to do now?"

And I just heard Him say, just keep doing what you've already got planned. And so I did. When we were just about to start the worship, the rain stopped. And it didn't rain for the rest of the night until about 2 or so when people were starting to go to sleep. Praise God! He really pulled through on that.

But as I came out of retreat, I felt the purpose we had for it was accomplished...but I guess the visionary instinct inside me kinda felt a little disapointed, cuz I envisioned it to be greater. And I'm not sure if it's because we didn't do something or lacked to plan something or expecting God to move in a certain way when He moved another way.

I know this post may read like it was sound bites randomly placed together, but I guess I just wanted to write. I guess sometimes it's a lonely battle to fight when you're the leader. Sometimes the heart just takes twists and turns when you think one way while others may not see it the same way.

Perhaps this post didnt' make any sense, but hopefully my next one will be a bit more coherent and full of sense.

I guess to sum it up...I'm just tired and feeling a bit confused.

16

2006-08-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

Don't worry...see I haven't forgotten
Just wanted to save this to post on a special day... ;)

Two nights before Kat left for Toronto, we took a trip to Stanley in HK. It was really hot, with no clouds to break the sunlight. We enjoyed the very tourist-y market of Stanley, just walking around staring at black and white photos of Hong Kong back in the early 1900's and contempary Chinese paintings that I personally found very intruiging.

After walking around the market, we went to bay just take a look at the ocean. Wow. It'll be a while before we get the chance to see oceans on this side of the world together for a while. I really loved that moment. It reminded me of the other time when we went to Silvermine Bay and looked out at what seemed almost like a tropical, traveller magazine-shot, view of an ocean with the characteristic green hills of Asian landscapes. A memory that still seems so vivid.

After a little more walking around we stopped by a Pacific Coffee to just chill and relax for a bit. We bought a donut (I hadn't had a donut for so long) and a Chilliano to share. As we sat by the windows, we just talked randomly about what made this trip so great for us. What kind of things really stood out to us. When suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I saw a slim box sitting on top of a small counter. It was a scrabble box. So I went to pick it up and brought it to our table to play scrabble. Now this sounds extremely nerdy...I suppose Kat is getting some of that influence from me...hahaha but yea, it was fun playing b/c this was the game Kat and I were playing back during our first trip together to the cottage last year with the rest of her family. So it brought a lot of good memories along with a healthy dose of competition. ;)

But after our game, we decided to walk around and find a nice place to eat.

We walked around the street with where restaurants opened up their tables along the sidewalk right by Stanley Bay. It was a nice stroll as we walked around looking for a restaurant to eat at. We ended up going to this really nice colonial style building that used to be located in Central, but was moved stone by stone out into Stanley.

We sat outside of the El Cid restaurant. It was probably the most romantic meal I've ever had...eating outside on a patio, moonlight in view, near the coast, Spanish cuisine served on candle-lit tables, live guitarists playing and singing love songs upon request...but what really made it so special was not the food, not the musicians, not the atmosphere, but the person I was with.

There's no other person I want to be with, no other girl that I treasure more...and I thank God for blessing me so much by leading us into this relationship. I can't wait to see you back home...

IMU <3

180

2006-08-27T02:23:00.001-07:00

The greatest compliment I could ever receive as a worship leader would be...
"When you led, I had such an amazing encounter with God I forgot you were there."

Last night I was given the priveledge of serving alongside some of the greatest musicians I know here in HK in leading the 180 group to worshipping God. To be honest, I was real nervous and I stumbling in my explanations during practice and causing all kinds of mistakes, but they were real nice about it in tryna help me out. But how did it go? It was awesome. I really miss serving in this way. And I cannot think of a better way to finish off my trip here in HK with the chance to serve in this way. Truly amazing.

Well, a quick update for those in Toronto...I'll be back this Thursday and my current schedule for this week looks like:

Mon: leave the house at 6:45am to go to China with the grandparents
Tues: come back to HK at night
Wed: last minute stuff and dinner with Family at night
Thurs: Board the plane
Thurs (Can): arrive back home...

This has been an amazing trip...really gonna miss it here. But i'm really looking forward to coming home.

Next post will probably be when i get back on Tuesday...check then ;)

Final Day @ Meyer

2006-08-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

My last day at work!!!

I can't wait to finish my term here at Meyer. Wow. 3 months. Today marks the end of my longest job up to date.

I suppose that since it's my last day here at Meyer, I should reflect on what it's been like here.

This has been a real blessing working here. Despite my previous post describing the vary "interesting" things about life at the factory, having had the chance to work here in HK has really been by the grace of God. To be a Canadian born Chinese, who doesn't speak a lot of Cantonese, nor has an HKID, and yet land a job in HK is pretty rare. It's really by God's grace that there have been people like uncle James who are willing to bring me in to teach me and let me grow.

They say experience counts...and even though I may not feel like I've "learned" a whole lot each day, I've learned a lot as a whole.

I've learned there are always problems, but the ability to find out the right problems and the right way to approach an issue may be just as important as the solution. I've learned that here in HK, the worklife really is as people say it is, long, hard, and overtime isn't out of the blue or additional pay to your salary. I've learned that simply discussing a problem outloud helps more than hours of contemplating and thinking alone.

I've solidified the notion that what you do in the real world really is gray compared to what school teaches you.

But this doesn't stop my "work" in Asia. Last night after dinner, I sat with my grandfather for a good 2 hours or so discussing about Kam Pin. We talked about management issues, about how to increase productivity, how to get workers, and about some of the issues and struggles he faces at work. So even though today's my last day, it's not the end of my work here.

On Monday I'm gonna go with my grandparents back up to China to visit the factory one last time. He wants me to write him a report explaining my observations and my suggestions on how the company can do better at the factory. It's kinda cool. Kinda like my first consulting-type project.

Well after today I've got only 6 more days left till I'm on a plane bound for home. And since I won't be here at Meyer anymore, it won't be as convenient as before to post on my blog, so here's an outline of what's goin' on these next couple days before I'm back:

Tonight:
Saturday: shop in the morning, then chill with Derek and Tianne, then co-lead at 180 at night
Sunday: attend Tung Fook Church with Casey, Leo, and Jay, then have lunch with uncle James one last time, then try to finish off a round of shopping, and maybe dinner with Derek Ma...i'm really hoping that i don't miss the chance to sit down and talk with him before i leave...i'd be real sad if i did.
Monday: hop in a car in the morning and head to china, tour the factory, discuss, maybe eat dinner at my uncle's restaurant, perhaps go out with Jonathan at night
Tuesday: more factory touring, perhaps play a round of golf with my grandfather, then hop on a train and come back to HK so i can finish off shopping
Wed: shopping, since I've yet to buy all the stuff that I need to get for myself and others...
Thurs: morning, maybe some very last minute shopping/packing...then at around noon head to the airport, hop on AC16 and head back home....

oh yea, one last thing...if u've reached this part of the blog, can you do me one thing. Pls pray for UTCCF. We need your prayers as hasn't been the easiest with me being so far away from the rest of the committee. And when I get back there'll be loads of things to do, so pray that I'd have the strength, wisdom, and guidance that only the Holy Spirit can provide to accomplish all that needs to be done. Thanks.

Countdown: 4 more days of work...

2006-08-21T19:43:00.000-07:00

Tuesday...almost half way through the week. Just four more days till I'm done my workterm at Meyer and I'm off to finish shopping, chatting with friends, and visiting China. I don't really know how to describe my work here at Meyer. Most of what I've been doing has been measuring and statistics work. I suppose it's the work and life of an Industrial Engineer. But as I think about it more and more and dive myself into more and more statistics...I'm beginning to discover in myself a deep understanding of, "I actually don't really like this kind of work too much." I mean sometimes the statistics are cool, sometimes it's interesting...but for the rest of my life? Probably not. I don't think remaining an engineer is really where my heart is at, nor is it what I'm really good at.

I've always told people, the reason I ended up doing engineering was because the Lord led me in this direction...but also because God gave me that ability to do math. I'm no genius, I don't have a passion for statistics or a yearning prove anything in particular (hahah unlike my buddy Mike Kim)...but I can do it. And I know it's not something that everybody has, an ability to think mathematically...and this isn't said to appear prideful or something as if I have something to boast about anyways. But if God has given you something that not everyone necessarily has, then wouldn't it be a waste to not spend your time and effort to develop to some degree of excellence. That was my reasoning for sticking with engineering.

But that's just something I can do...not something I'm great at. And here's where I begin launch off on a tangent...

I remember during first year, a guest lecturer came to UT to talk about leadership coaching. Out of his 30 min presentation, one line that caught my attention stated the idea that, "If you focus on developing what you're bad at, you only become mediocre. If you focus on developing what you're good at, you can become excellent."

Math and engineering isn't what I'm bad at, nor is really something I'm good at. I'm more than positive that this isnt' the area that I can become excellent in. But there are other things...other aspects, interests, that I know I can become excellent in...and I would rather give my time, energy, and life into those things so that I can be excellent in them, rather than spend my life building myself to be only mediocre.

Meyer and engineering, I feel is not where I can develop these aspects of myself. But this summer, I'm grateful that I could be productive and learn while staying in HK. It has been a blessing and I need to remember despite the lack of passion I have for this kind of work.

The Space of Saturday

2006-08-20T20:15:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday was suppose to be my day off, but because my boss (Uncle James) had to go to Singapore this week and was swamped with meetings last week, the only day I could do my presentation was this past Saturday.

7:00 am...

So I woke up and got ready. I bored the KCR and it occurred to me, that besides not being able to sleep in on a Saturday morning, I actually don't mind going to work on Saturdays. I mean who's awake at 7 am in the morning? Not very many people. I liked it. I liked the fact that I could sit in the train, with the morning sunlight pouring through the train's windows...and it was quite. It was still. It wasn't empty, it was spacious.

I like travelling early morning when everyone else is awake. I think it's something I've always liked...driving at 5am in the morning to retreats...overnight driving to PEI...the fact that I can do something that usually is fairly crowded or packed with people...I like the space, particularly here in HK.

A picture from where I stand to take the company bus.

Life in Small Places and a Camera

2006-08-16T23:25:00.000-07:00

So after spending pretty much 3 whole months without a camera, Kat so graciously lent me hers for the rest of my trip...so I'll try to make the most of it.

I'd say one of my best descriptions of what it's like living here in Hong Kong is this, "Life in Small Places". It's been kinda interesting living in a room slightly less than a third of my bedroom size back in Toronto. But on top of that is the usual smallness of everywhere we go. Just the other night before Kat went back to Canada, we went to a Hui Lau San to eat some deserts and it was pretty small.

With that in mind, I don't think I mind living in small places. When I was younger, I used to think to myself, "When I grow up I want a house as big as the one I'm living in now...even if it's filled with just two people." But after this stay in HK, I'm beginning to think...living in an apartment or condo wouldn't be too bad. I mean if they can provide you with a swimming pool, a lobby, a parking spot, a recreation room, and a free elevator (of course you'd have to share it), who wouldn't want to...err...well what I mean is, it's a nice proposition.

Having a camera is really cool. I love taking pictures. I really like taking pictures, especially using manual settings so that you can set the shutter speed slow and get those really cool effects in your pictures. Pretty cool.

Thanks Hun!

Listen, Kindness, Repentence

2006-08-15T21:53:00.000-07:00

Before you speak,
it is necessary for you to listen,
for God speaks in the silence of the heart.
-Mother Theresa

Usually I get up at around 6:45-6:50 and get out of the house by around 7:30 in the morning. All this so that I can take a public bus, then a train to catch the company's bus at 8, which brings me to the factory. But today, I ended up waking at 7:30. No way I'll catch it. Well possibly...but you know what, I'll just take a taxi. An extra $30 HK but it's ok...forget it, don't rush.

And for the first work day in I think 3 weeks or so I didn't rush to get out of the house. I took my time, which meant that I ended up taking my time while being fully awake to do my devos. For the past couple weeks, my devos haven't been the greatest. It consisted of reading a chapter or parts of a chapter, then praying only to fall asleep 30 secs in. I've been pretty tired. But today as I sat down and begin to just engage with God, I felt Him speak to me..."Mike you can't keep going like this. You need to spend the time with me. I want you to spend time with me." And then it hit me, that God let me miss the bus because He wanted to sit me down and tell me...I'm missing out on something vital...the unrushed, one on one time with God.

My spiritual life hasn't really dipped, I've been trying to remind myself to keep inviting God into whatever I do during the day, and as John Ortberg put it, every time we consciously do that, "it's a win". But this was different. This was the Father speaking to His child in kindness saying, "I want to spend time with you but I haven't been able to."

And I know I'm in the wrong. I want to go back. Repentence.

Here is where I begin to see an important truth ring true in my life. Often times people who aren't on track with the Lord would be told by other Christians about how they need to do it. They would begin to compare how the person can devote so much to computer games or MSN or whatever in an attempt to make them realize they have the time but choose not to spend it with God. Guilt, that's what they're trying to go after. Rebuke, that's what they think.

But what leads me to where I am today in this relationship with Him is the realization that what leads to true repentance is not guilt, not rules, not even consequences, but it's kindness. It's the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. And today I sat, listened, felt the kindness of the Father...and I'm repenting, "God, I need your help to straighten this crooked soul so that I'd spend time with you. I haven't been giving my best to know you, and I want to know you more."

Music of the Heart

2006-08-14T21:32:00.000-07:00

I've been visiting the blogs of guys from the band lately...and have been thinking a lot about it.

Sometimes I wonder what I have to offer. It's kinda funny sometimes. I can recall countless times when I would stand with my guitar in the heat of rehearsal and just question, "What have I got to offer? These guys are so good." I feel like the odd one out. They're all like experts in their instruments...and then some. I feel so average at times.

Sometimes, I think they'd be better off if they started that jazz quartet instead. hahaha they'd earn a whole lot more money...or they'd actually earn money hahah...

But a lot of times I wonder what I've got to offer. I've been thinking about it a lot...and I feel like my guitar playing has kinda reached a plateau. I haven't got the interest or the capacity to really play well. I almost feel like it's pointless to buy a really expensive guitar, b/c it'll be so underused by me. All those years of hating theory have begun to catch up...ionic modes, diminished chords, pentatonic scales...i think playing by ear has it's limits.

I think I'm beginning to really rethink my role. More and more I don't think of myself as a guitarist anymore. If everyone had the same guitar, the sound coming out of mine wouldn't sound have nearly as lovely as that of legends like jimmy hendricks, eric clapton, and dan yoo.

But i think the only thing i've really got that's unique is my voice, but I often feel like I'm still so small. Just singing sometimes throws me off. And the songwriting? I don't think there's ever been a side to my life I've been more insecure about than writing songs. I've come to the point where I just don't introduce them as my songs anymore...they're just "new songs". But for all those who don't really venture into this category, I find it real tough to write songs...or at least good ones.

I often listen to songs like "Dare you to move" or "Shadow proves" and just be in wonder. Wow, how did he come up with a line like that? Or how did make it so powerful and moving. The imagery is amazing. And I think about myself and I just kind of wish the same. I kinda hope that somehow after rewriting 100 times or writing a chorus and waiting for 2 years till verses show up. It's kinda frustrating at times...sometimes i do wonder if i'm cut out for it.

I think i've got like 200+ unfinished songs or ideas, out of writing for 6 years...with only i think 3-4 worship songs that have been used for services, and a one-hit wonder that helped raise awareness at Hart House for Make Poverty History. But 4-5 songs out of 200, maybe even 300+...actually a part of me thinks it's normal...or perhaps a little small.

Sometimes it's great...most of the time it's tough.

And Limits...

I think the one thing that drives me insane is the countless ideas, beats, melodies, and other things that go through my head and end up staying in my head because there's no way to bring them out. It's tough when there's no computer or keyboard, or you don't know the right software, so that you can actually audibly hear what you hear in your head. I guess that's the life of a desperately poor musician . It's always a challenge. Always a tension. It makes you edgy...like constantly having a word on the tip of your tongue...

It's not about defeat. It's just my trying to be real. I feel for all those musicians out there who want to make great music but just can't...who've got an inkling for something creative, but haven't got the means to manifest it...

But I'll keep giving my best...i just pray that God would somehow use what little i've got to do something impactful.

Can't wait for the next band practice...btw, we still haven't got a name.

More than Programs – Leaders as Cultural Architects

2006-08-13T23:15:00.000-07:00

Being CCF chair next year is exciting. I'm excited to be serving the Lord and to give it the best that I can. Consequently so, I've been reading and thinking a lot about how to lead next year. Been reading a lot about leadership, innovation, spiritual formation, and organizational behavior.
Today as I was reading, something sparked in my mind and I thought I'd put it on paper, or type. So here it is. I hope some of you find it useful, and I hope especially that somehow other CCF leaders will get a chance to read it and find it helpful as they lead next year.

We've all heard it before when it comes to leadership, “it's not about programs, but about people.” And that's absolutely true. Relationships are irrefutably foundational for effective leadership.

But what happens afterwards? What does someone do that sets a person apart as a truly effective leader than just being socially adept?

Marcus Buckingham in his book, The One Thing You Need to Know, says that essentially all leadership is about is rallying people to a better future. Slightly out of the blue. Interesting thought. Not the usual leadership definition we hear. But upon reflection, I think this is so definitive of a leader.

And when I think about Jesus Christ, that is exactly what he did. The gospel he preached was not “minimal entry requirements into heaven”, but rather “the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” And when He says at hand, he doesn't mean coming, he means available. It's available. And as He preached this to the multitudes, He was saying, “The right and best future, where God's kingship is fully applied, is available and can be manifested in you now.” The future was available now.

Back to what do we do as leaders of people beside building relationships and rallying them into a better future. So what practical thing do we have to do in addition to those two components? I believe we have to be architects of something where people are central. Programs are not really people centered. Programs are activity centered. But culture is people centered.

For us, leaders, to rally people to a better future, and actually bring them there, we must be cultural architects who continuous lead people into a culture that enables and digs deep into their hearts.

Every organization is built on more than one person. There are always those who put their best efforts and time into bringing a group of people into that future. And as every leader has experienced, there is always the question of how to get these people to actually do it. The question of motivation. How do I get people not only on board, but rowing?

And I think that’s what culture is all about. It’s about developing a culture infrastructure with culture keys like servanthood. Leaders need to be willing to create a culture where a servant heart and hand should be extended to anyone regardless of position. And as an architect, they got to be the first ones to do so.

If we as leaders, and I say this because I've made the mistake more than once, focus all our efforts and time in developing great programs, it will only go so far. It isn’t sustainable, it isn’t people centered, it doesn’t always reach into a person’s core and release that goodness or passion. Culture is what we need to focus on. We have to put our hearts, minds, hands, and prayers into this, because the nature of culture is that if you don’t take the initiative to shape it, it will be shaped and possibly not in the way that it should be.

On a side note, let me clear something up. Some people may have an uneasy feeling about me saying that Jesus Christ did what a secular researcher defined. As if I'm somehow placing Jesus into a premade box shaped by a secular mind. This is not the case. Rather it is a secular mind who finds a definition out of what had already existed, in the lives of many but perfectly so in Jesus Christ.

:(

2006-08-13T17:56:00.000-07:00

2.5 weeks...i'll definitely miss you.

Life in the Factory

2006-08-07T22:22:00.000-07:00

So I've been horrible at keeping this blog alive...I still owe a lot of you an outline of what happened in China and Macau...it's coming. But while I'm still tryna piece it together despite the busyness, I was inspired to write about what life in the factory has been these last 8-9 weeks or so.

Hm... where to begin.

Working here isn't too bad. When I first started my term here, I spent a lot of time on the shop floor...the non-air conditioned with metal coils radiating heat shop floor. It's hot down there...and humid. I remember reading an article on the Star saying how Toronto reached a blistering 35+ degrees with a humidex of a "high" of 40. Well...on hot days, the outside temp would be nearing 30 if not above, so add onto that heat radiating metal, I'd say we're close to the same temperature. As far as humidex goes...hahah I just found out that the average over here in Hong Kong during the day is like 80-90. It's pretty humid...hahah

So that's what working here has been like. I spend most of the time in the office area where it's suppose to be air conditioned. More like everywhere in the office is air conditioned except for my section. No idea why. But I suppose after a couple weeks of it, I've gotten used to it.

I think that's one thing I've built up a tolerance for in HK, a tolerance for heat and humidity. I don't sweat as much as I did when I first arrived. Sunday I was walking around Fa Yuen Street outside and it was hot and humid, but it didn't really bug me...i guess working on the shop floor without a fan to at least cool off your sweat really trains you for high heat.

Something interesting happened today. We had a fire drill. I can't remember the last time I had one of those...maybe gr. 12? Like over 3 years ago? But imagine a factory doing that, with all the people coming out...it was kinda funny...actually it reminded me of elementary school. In typical Hong Kong fashion, the from each department who was "in charge" of making sure we got out, wore a cross guard like band around their waste and shoulder, holding up a flurouscent pink or yellow card board paper with Chinese words printed on office paper taped onto it.

Here's a heavily pixelated picture of our team, posing while we "lined up" outside of the factory during the fire drill:

How about the food?

Well here at the factory, they serve us lunch. But that's been an interesting culinary experience all on its own. Basically they have two large pots of rice that everyone scoops from. Then we all scurry away to our tables where we have mysterious dishes waiting to be uncovered. But when uncovered, the usual reaction is...well it's still mysterious. Hahah I often here the usual (in Cantonese), "What is this?" and "Who puts this kinda vegetable with this dish?" One time we had deep fried fish, and it was so deep fried...there was no more fish. It was just deep fried powder. hahah

Another intersting thing is the soup. Usually we drink soup after our meal, but we all get it from this huge pot. So one day as I walked up to get my soup, I saw another employee bring his bowl over to the pot. We usually just use the bowl we eat out from to drink the soup. But as he poured the soup from the ladel into his bowl, the bowl was substantially smaller than the ladel...so as he poured, the soup just overflowed out of his bowl and fell right back into the communal pot of soup. MMmmmm... "ga liu"

But other than that...this trip has been really interesting. Not very many people can comprehend what it's like working in a factory, let alone a factory in Asia. It's really different. When I get back to Toronto I'll be working in another factory, but this time in a multinational company. So it'll be interesting to see how different it really is.

I'm really blessed to have had the chance to get some international experience working...cuz afterall, perhaps someday I'll return to China and work in a factory once more.

Back to HK

2006-07-24T02:05:00.000-07:00

So a couple nights ago, Kat and I arrived back to Hong Kong for our last stretch of our what has been adventurous trip in Asia.

With only 5.5 weeks left (and 2.5 weeks for Kat), it feels like so much is coming to a close...to be honest I really want to just stay...but at the same time I do want to go home.

I do have a lot to share about regarding the conference and such, but perhaps I'll do that on another post.

But yesterday was a really cool day...and in one sense, I was moved. Nothing spectacular happened, in fact what moved me was just an image and a feeling. The image was of the Lau family...3 generations, all of the uncles (including my dad), and 3 cousins walking together just spending time at the mall together. The feeling...I love my family. And I guess, it was just the sense that although there were a lot more people, this was the first time it really hit home to me...

Two years ago, ever since God helped me to learn some Cantonese, began the journey of developing relationships with family that I never had before. When I came back in 2004, i could actually begin to build an close relationship with nana (my mom's mom). For the first time, we had a converstaion. For the first time I could share with her about my faith and my passion for China. The grandparent-to-grandchild relationship that I never had, and kinda envied of others, I was finally given the chance to start. And when my yeye and mama (dad's dad and dad's mom respectively) came to visit Canada, and ever since I've been back here...yet another relationship that I feel like I should've had, but never had the capacity to have until now...

kinda wish i could've had this with my grandpa (mom's dad) before he passed away...

but yea...really moved. I didn't anticipate this, though this is what I wanted.

For those of you who read this and share the same Father, keep praying for these relationships please.

China then Macau

2006-07-13T23:58:00.000-07:00

In a matter of hours, Kat and I will be on a train headed towards Dongguan, China.

I think a little explanation needs to be given to why I feel so excited. First off, next week I won't have to work. hahah but more importantly, there's another reason why.

Even before Kat and I started dating, God had been cultivating in our hearts a love and compassion for the country of China. And for the first time ever, this weekend we will be stepping onto Chinese soil together! Wow. Who would've known. It's gonna be soo cool.

I am SOOO excited! Another thing that kinda gets me excited is this...

No one I know, outside of my dad's family, has ever seen or been a part of this side of my life. It's the side of my life that gets hidden away when I'm in Toronto...because it's practically half a world away.

Some of you may know, but essentially I'm part of a family business here in China that is very family oriented...to cut a long story short, my dad was the only one who decided not to join the family business and to pursue ministry instead. And because of that, much of my side of the family doesn't really get so involved with the business. But coming back, I've been having really odd feelings here and there.

The other day when I was walking over to the other factory, I saw a truck waiting to load stuff. And on the side of the truck it said, "Kam Pin Paint Works." And then it kinda dawned on me...that's my truck. It's Lau property. Living over in Toronto, our family has always been very simple. My dad's a pastor and my mom's a music teacher...and I guess coming over here being told that I can walk where ever I want in the factory because I'm a Lau, always makes me feel like I'm stepping into another life that I'm a part of.

Well essentially, the reason I'm excited is because there's finally someone that I can share this side with. Someone who'll get to see what this side of me is, although it's never been a huge part of it. It's so amazing how two years ago I came here by myself, but this time Kat's able to join too. So cool.

Well this weekend hopefully we'll be visiting the factory, eating at my uncle's restaurant, meeting Queen's people, watching my cousin race (legal, track racing...), and possibly playing a game of golf.

After this weekend my dad, Kat, and I are gonna head over to Macau for the week long CCCOWE conference. I'm pumped for that. I can't wait to hear what God is doing around the world, and also to be under the training of other faithful leaders and servants of His global Chinese church.

If you can, please remember us in your prayers. I've attached a prayer letter for you all at the bottom of this email. I hope you get a chance to read it. If you want you can read Kat's prayer letter too at her blog: katluksadventures.blogspot.com

-----------------------------------

Hey all,

This is a slightly long email, but I really appreciate it if you can read through it and pray for me these next couple days/weeks.

In about 5 days, I will be leaving Hong Kong for what would be the primary reason why I came to Hong Kong... let me share.

Next week, Kat and I will be going to a 5 day conference called CCCOWE in the city of Macau. Essentially this conference is a gathering of church pastors and leaders (specifically Chinese) from across the world, to equip, pray, and share for the purpose of reaching the world for Christ together. Happening once every 3-5 years, this year they are starting their very first English speaking track of workshops and plenary sessions. Apparently, the goal this year is to "raise up a new generation" of dedicated followers and servants in the church.

I am really excited about going, because this is where I think God's gonna really show me about where my place is with regards to China. As most of you know, I've felt the Lord's call to serve Him in China one day, and I've been asking Him over and over again how to do it, but each time I just heard Him whisper back and say, "I'll tell you when you get there."

Last time I came here, I thought He would answer me, but all He told me was "There's a bigger picture". And I'm beginning to think that this may be that bigger picture...attending the conference and seeing what the Lord is doing in the global Chinese church.

So I'm thinking...maybe this time, He's gonna tell me. And I'm really excited!

One thing that I know I need is your prayers. I know this week will be an intense week, and I can't do it without all of you beside me praying. I've already been feeling some spiritual attack on my mind, physical body, and spiritual life. I definitely need you all to help pray for protection.

Here's a short list of other things you can pray for me as well:
- divine revelation for the direction of my life
- a more focused and renewed passion for the people of China
- connecting with the right people
- spiritual walk with God would be closer
- energy to fully engage everyday during the conference

One last prayer request is also to pray for Kat. She's been given the privilege of sharing for 10 mins in front of the whole English track about what God has been doing in Toronto, specifically about Youth on a Hill. Afterwards, there will be an open question and answer session where she's got to field questions from the audience. Pray that her ears will be attentive to where the Spirit is trying to lead her during the talk and that she would have confidence and peace when she shares and fields questions.

Thank you so much for reading this far and for praying for me.

Take care and I hope you all continue to have an awesome summer.

-mike

Dinner on Stubbs Rd.

2006-07-04T22:42:00.000-07:00

Last night, Kat and I joined Casey for dinner at Gary and Garland’s house. It was an awesome night. What happened there, the words that were spoken, were not expected but so encouraging to hear.

I think the two phrases that caught my attention the most was when Gary and Garland told us that we were at the epicenter of what God is doing in the English church of Hong Kong. They told us we were in the right place, attending the Vine as our church in Hong Kong. They spoke about how God has been doing so much in that church, and I couldn’t agree more. They told us about how God’s been working in places like Tung Fook Tong, last December 1500 people came to Christ. That is amazing! They told us about ECC Hong Kong, about their 24/7 prayer ministry and how every slot is filled with people from the church praying. To hear of a church who’s entire congregation is so engaged in praying, like ECC Hong Kong and like the Brooklyn Tabernacle (which we also talked about), is so encouraging.

The other thing they told us was to bring what we find here back to Toronto. They told us that we were shock troops or scouts. We are seeing what it’s like for the kingdom of God to come down on earth, and we need to lead others into prayer and repentance to see His kingdom unfold in the lives of our families, churches, schools, and friends.

After dinner, we spent some time to pray together, sharing requests like how CCCOWE will be coming up soon. And it was really cool to have a meal and pray with a couple that we don’t know too well, and yet share the same heart.
It was an unexpectedly awesome night.

The Art of Dodging People

2006-06-25T22:25:00.000-07:00

It's a matter of life and death. A daily necessity. Everyone here knows it. No, it's not kungfu...it's the art of dodging people.

As I was walking peacefully minding my own way in the subway station, suddenly without warning a mob of merciless men and women in suits began to beeline all around me. They had no smile. They had no facial gesture. They had cold, steel eyes, that stared right at their destination...and their minds were enraptured in two words...walk fast.

I knew not what to do. I began to consider an alternative route to reach my final destination, but all routes seemed dangerous and pedestrians speeded in every direction.

When suddenly, instinctively as I walked forward, I began to shift my shoulder. I took a step horizontally. I stared back into cold, hard, beaty eyes and budged not as I walked past...and it began to dawn on me...I had become one of them. I was now a black belt in the art of dodging people.

Quickly I began to take evasive maneauvers, turning, sliding, barrel rolling amidst this rising storm of people. It became obvious to me, if I were ever to reach my final destination, then I had to maintain a high speed, halting only when crashing was immanent.

Finally after cartwheeling through business men, secrataries, teenagers in school uniforms, and unshakeable seniors, I finally made it through...unscathed, injury-free...but still 4 mins late? Perhaps I've still much to learn.

I thank God that He didn't make us too fast...

Hong Kong's full of people, and yea, dodging people seems like a necessity some times...which brought to mind how sometimes we dodge people too. We don't really dodge their bodies so much, but more the relationship. Ever walk towards someone only finding that you know them, but would rather not talk to them, so you make the effort of crossing the street, just so you could avoid them? I must confess, I've done that a couple times in my life...perhaps couple is an understatement.

But of all my years I've been at church, I've seen the art of dodging people happen over and over again. You probably know what I mean...a new person walks in, doesn't really look like they're from the same age group, probably not real cool, maybe doesn't even speak English well...so you walk by them, say "Excuse me" in a low tone with the intent on expressing urgency and the importance of you having to be somewhere else...

I know I've been part of that group before...until I stepped into that. A couple years ago I walked into a church like that. I was the outsider, I didn't know many people. I walked in and out, and it seemed like people effortlessly dodged me, never making the effort to know me unless I got to know them.

If there's one thing that really impressed me while I've been at the Vine, is this one concept of connecting people. It's so simple, yet it's so powerful. Just yesterday, Derek showed me how to do that again...he pulled me aside out of a conversation I had with some of my friends from Canada and said (turning to a first time visitor at the Vine while holding onto my shoulders) here's one of my leaders from the college program, he'll tell you all about it, and invite you to it too. He's from Toronto, UT...and the girl's face just brightened up, "You're from Toronto? That's so cool!"

There's been many lessons that I've learned here, but I would have to say with regards to living out a Christian life, this would be one of the most practical lessons I've learned yet while here at the vine...the art of connecting with people instead of dodging them.

For all of you who've felt the discontent of seeing people attend your churches and leave them because they say it's not friendly, or who've attended your fellowship but leave thinking to themselves noone cares...step it up. Lead your peers into connecting with people. If there's any group of individuals in this entire world who should make people feel connected to one another on a real genuine level, it should be us Christians. And I know with God's help we can do it, but we gotta start...

Week 6 Overseas

2006-06-20T19:51:00.000-07:00

Wow, I can't believe it's already been 6 weeks since I've left Toronto for Hong Kong/China. It's flown by so fast. Come to think of it...i've only got like 10 weeks left before i head back home.

There's been a lot happening here. Everyday is so busy. It's a rare thing for me to just go home and rest afterwork, I have to make it intentional if I want to maintain my energy and retain my sanity.

Blogging hasn't been very consistent. I know. Thanks to all of you who keep checking n' tell me about it...encourages me to keep spending the time to do it. ;)

In a couple of days, I'll be moving to the 10th floor with my uncle. There's internet up there, so hopefully I'll be able to update more often.

But here's a quick update for now of what's been goin' on:

June 16, 2006:
KAT CAME BACK TO HK! I was so glad to see her back in Hong Kong. Actually last night she showed me some pictures of her trip. With each picture that she showed me, there was one thought that kept flashing through my mind, "I wish I was there." I think I'm beginning to shift...I think it's China that I'm craving to go to, and not just simply Hong Kong...we'll see where that goes.

After I picked her up at the airport, we went to pick up Will at Kowloon Tong station. We went to Auntie Cathy's place to drop off Will's stuff, then we went to a restaurant that served Macau food. While we were eating, I was telling them about all the cool stuff that you could try in Macau, when it dawned on me...why don't we go to Macau tomorrow?

June 17, 2006: Macau Trip
Early morning, wake up. I saw my grandparents on my way out to pick up some stuff from Niki. I took the bus straight to the ferry dock, but it took longer than expected. When we got on, the ferry was pretty shaky. The three of us felt a little uneasy from the boat ride, but we got out OK. After clearing customs and boarding a taxi, we went to the church that I served at last time I came here for missions. As we passed through the mountain and drove along the local roads, so many memories started to flash trough my mind.

The many nights we walked to by Chinese buns at this particular shop. Nights when we took the students out for drinks. The simplicity of living and serving.

It was really interesting when we went to the burial site of Robert Morrisson. Here lay a man who ventured out into what seemed like the unknown to bring the Good news to my people...you know, i think a lot of us Chinese Christians can probably trace back our roots to this man who decided to step out into China over 200 years ago. Pretty awesome.

With regards to what we did there, the whole day was mostly sight seeing. We went to St. Paul's ruins, the fortress on a hill, the black and white road...

it was pretty cool to see it all again...and to think it was two years ago when I came...whoa.

June 18, 2006: Father's Day
On Sunday Kat and I went to a dinner with my dad's side of the family. It was really cool, b/c now Kat's seen my entire family. We had a good time, Jonathan came back too. It was a rather large celebration: father's day, grandma's birthday, uncle Wilton's birthday...the day before when we went to Macau, I bought almond cookies as gifts, so I decided to pass them out to the Father's around the table as a gift. My little cousin was particularly jumpy that night too. It was cool, when she saw me she shot her arms up and asked me to give her a hug...then she held up fists to pretend to fight me...hahah...cute.

So that was my weekend...

This week has been rather tiring. Rest is a rare thing over here...so rare I have to schedule it into my schedule. It's so needed.

Last night was the first night of SCP (the summer college program). It was cool to start seeing it happen...we worshipped with music for a bit, then brainstormed some ideas. I really pray it'll be awesome this year. I remember standing at the back when Mark was leading the music, just praying that Derek's vision for students to go back to their campuses passion-filled for Christ would definitely happen. I want to see that too. It's awesome that I can be a part of it while I'm here.

Disciple?

2006-06-16T02:18:00.000-07:00

These past days, the Lord has been showing me a lot of things...particularly around one central concept of the Bible. Discipleship.

What does it mean to be a disciple? What does it mean when Christ tells us that if we are to follow Him, we must pick up our cross...and yet His burden is light and easy?

Contradictory? Perhaps not.

Let me ask you an honest question, have you ever seen someone who's life is just abounding in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control, every second of their lives? Have you ever met someone who can't help but just love, when they're given the one fingered salute, four letter song, or a knife in the back? What about the guy who doesn't ever mind to walk two miles when forced to walk one?

Did Jesus really mean it when He told us that we can be that person? Cuz in all honesty, I'm not that someone described up there.

But I think Christ had every intention for us to change. That I may not love the Lord my God with ALL my heart and ALL my soul and ALL my mind and ALL my strength...yet. But I'm in the process of His grace working in me.

I'm reading a lot these days, and hopefully I can share more later, but here's one insight that really hit me today because I find it so true.

Here is an excerpt from Dallas Willard:

Grace is God acting in our lives to bring about what we do not deserve and cannot accomplish on our own. But we are not passive in this process. We are commanded to put off the old person and put on the new. (Col. 3:9-10; Eph. 4:22-24) We are told to “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (II Peter 3:18) This is something for us to do, and, although we cannot do it on our own, it will not be done for us. Being alive in Christ means that we can do whatever it is we need to do to increasingly take on his character and live in his power.

That idea...we cannot do it on our own, yet it will not be done for us. So many Christians recognize the fact that we cannot change on our own, but at the same time, neglect to do anything thinking that is what total surrender may be. We think grace is just letting God take control of everything and to be passive...and that is dangerous, especially when God intends for us to be active in the process.

Discipleship...

Global Day of Prayer: HK

2006-06-04T19:05:00.000-07:00

Date: June 4, 2006
Time: 11:45pm
Location: Hong Kong, China

Today was awesome.

It started at 9:40 am this morning, when Casey and I arrived at the Hong Kong stadium. We pulled out our production crew passes and walked into the multifunction room to begin the task of setting clothes aside, stapling technical rundown sheets, and bringing 12 cases of bottled water. This was it today...the day when churches would gather from across the city to pray and worship the Lord alongside the nations of the world...today was Global Day of Prayer.

Actually at this very moment, the events for GDOP in North America have just started if not still prepping for their turn in just a couple hours.

When Kat first told me about this event, I wasn't too thrilled or overly excited about it. I heard about it over at Missionfest this year, and it didn't really capture my attention too much. It sounded just like any other conference. When Kat showed me the video of it, I began to get more interested but...there was lacking a move in my heart regarding this whole event.

Two weeks ago, Casey asked if I would like to help out with GDOP. I offered my help, but during the first meeting this past Monday, I felt quite overwhelmed. With tons of stuff needing to be done, and everyone speaking in Chinese to one another I felt like I was the only one who didn't know how to speak...I could only listen.

I toughed it out though, and after a long day of rehearsing and setting up yesterday, I was finally at the stadium...and man, my heart has changed. I began to feel excited. Anticipating awesome things.

And as I stood at the northwest gate queuing the country flag bearers, I saw coming from the northeast gate the flags they have been talking about for so long. There was a flag with a lion on it and a crown and a star of David. It danced in the sky as it was followed by long flowing flags that declared the name of God on them. And as I watched, I could only think...Magnificent...Majestic. This is our king, and today we were proclaiming and celebrating his continuous reign. The unceasing advancement of His kingdom. This is Jesus Christ our King. And today was all about Him!

As I watched them march, behind them was a large yellow cross, 28m x 14m...and at the blowing of the shofars and the beating of the military drums, they began to march in a holy procession onto the grass field. And as soon as the tail of the cross touched the field, there went the queue for me to signal the release of the country flag bearers.

It was an awesome sight. The king Lion of Judah leading the flags pronouncing the Names of God, a cross the size of a small gymnasium, and behind them 200 flags representing the countries of the world. Awesome.

Sometime during all of this, I was so moved by it all. Just the overwhelming sense of God’s majesty, His kingship over all that is creation...my eyes were beginning to water. This is my God and He deserves the full honor and glory. This was awesome, but I began to feel in my heart like it wasn't enough, He needed more...because He is just so completely and absolutely worthy of the glory.

When the cross reached it's final position, all of a sudden youth with flags jumped out from underneath, holding shimmering flags of blue, green, yellow, purple...it looked almost arbitrary until you looked at the large screen display showing a topside view of the field and it suddenly dawned on me...the cross was radiating. The glimmer of the flags waving in the air made the cross look like it was luminous.

And at that, the cross was lowered, the youth moved to the track along the side and the rest of the program proceeded.

I didn't get a chance to focus on much of what was going on during the service, but it was ok, there was a reason and a purpose that I had to fulfill. I never knew that wearing a headset, being in constant communication through an earpiece with the production crew, would be so different of a world. I knew exactly what was going on, when everyone else was oblivious of the frantic running, queuing, and directing that went on all over the stadium.

There were a lot of interesting experiences today. Niki and I were a pair in the production crew and we had lots of intense moments. Running with the flag bearers, realizing some of the youth were still on the track waving their flags with their backs turned to the rest of us who were signaling them to leave...

One of the more remarkable moments of the day was when they called forth all the pastors and elders to walk up to the front to come together in unity to pray. Hundreds of pastors and elders stood up from the bleachers and made their way to the front of the stage. It was a big deal to me, I suppose because I am a pastors son. I felt like I had a link to all of them. That I was among all of them, and to see them all joined together in heart, just really touched my heart.

Today will definitely go down in my memory bank as one of the more memorable days of my life. The day when I stepped into the work of the kingdom as an outsider and joined with my people...40,000+ brother and sisters in Christ, to worship and pray to the Lord of Hosts, Jesus Christ our King.

Today was an experience I didn't expect coming here, but I'm so blessed and so glad to have been a part of God's work here. Because to be honest, that's what this trip is about...not shopping, not sight seeing, not even my job or the conference I'll be attending...it's about God, His Kingdom, His purpose, and His will for me, Kat, my family, my friends, my church, my people.

ps. Great job Garland, Niki, Jason, Mandy, Gabby. You were all awesome yesterday.

Stuck on a Chinese Highway

2006-05-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

Time: May 21, 2006 – 3:02 pm
Location: Dongguan, China

Last night was an interesting night. After a rather unexpected but anticipated wedding banquet of yet another person I'm related to, but never met, at the “prestigious” White Swan Hotel in Guang Zhough, I was on my way back to Dong guan when one of Fai's rear wheel's just snapped. We pulled over to the side of the road around midnight, and after assessing the damage, they called a factory worker to come and pick up my grandparents. I told them I'd stay behind to wait with Fai, since it's probably a lot better to have two people than just one.

It was rather ridiculous, the way the car tire just came off. It's like the brake cylinder that held the wheel to the car just snapped right through the middle of the cylinder. To be honest, it seemed like an impossible snap...until I was told that the part was made in China. Oh, China...

Well after waiting till about 2:00am for the tow trucks to arrive, and for Fai to devise up a way to tow the car (with that wheel gone, it was rather difficult to tow the car. Thankfully, Fai used to tow cars in HK, so he was the mastermind behind last night's excursion to remove the car off the highway), we headed off to a“disco”...I know...sounds pretty, yea...but here's when I need to do a little cultural translation. A disco here is basically what we have come to know as a club over in Toronto. But yea, after lounging around, listening to dance music (which I haven't much fancy for), we ended up going home.

I woke up this morning around 10:30, clocking about 5 some hours of sleep after returning home past 4 last night. I felt so gross, cause I didn't get a chance to shower the night before, but after showering, eating a bit, I went to do my devotions.

Last night at the dinner table, my belief in Christ predictably came up again. Passing jokes about how I needed to go to bed early because I need to read the Bible, how I could probably quote by memory half the book, my apparent ignorant innocence, were amidst some of the things that I think they didn't expect me to understand since in their eyes I didn't really understand Cantonese...hahah...well I did understand. It was also interesting how the Da Vinci code came up. The reach of this book is pretty crazy, I never expected my grandfather's younger brother to know much about this book, let alone know some of the major issues it brings up about the Bible.

It really makes me to think though. Last time I came back, I felt and was treated like a kid. Ignorant, inexperienced, unknowledgeable, it didn't seem like I really had my own voice, or if I did, it was just passed. But this time coming back, I've felt like I have some more respect. And it's beginning to hit me how different I stand out…the fact that I have an education, have a desire to study God's Word...

I remember back at Urbana, I had an identity crisis. It was there for the first time in my life, that it dawned on me that it was no accident that I am a Chinese born in an English speaking country, having English as my primary language, and studying at a world class university. And I think it's becoming clearer now...

Things like the Da Vinci code, mixed with the uneducated minds of the local people coupled with a fairly belittled view of Christianity, are reasons why we need Christians who can think, who study, who really can provide a sound reason to why we believe.

I was raised speaking English so that I can study the bountiful resources the Lord has blessed the West. I am pretty confident that there is no other language on this earth that has as many books, CDs, videos, teachers, and colleges that speak of God's Truth. It's time to bring those blessings to others. It's time people outside the West start to be blessed by the abundance we have received.

Today at lunch, I think I had the longest conversation I've ever had with my grandfather. For the first time, I didn't feel belittled talking to him because of my lack of Cantonese. We talked for a great deal of time about Kam Pin and how my education relates to it. And I began to feel like my grandfather is starting to respect the competency the Lord has been developing in me for this sort of stuff...leadership, human resource management, quality control...I always believed that the reason why I study Industrial Engineering was to equip me for missions later in China. I think what John Maxwell had to say this past year is so true...in the Christian community, relationship is the keyword; but in the business community, respect is the keyword. Today I felt like I established respect with my grandfather for the first time. And I'm praying that this would be away that I will be able to share my faith with him.

The Bible talks about doing things for Christ, letting our motivation to give our best to whatever it is we're doing, whether it be ministry or just plain work. (Colossians 5 I believe) Back at home, the application is brought forth because of our laziness, our apathy for work. But I'm beginning to see how the real intention of this concept is not just an inward thing, but it was meant to be outward. Letting Christ be the motivation for us to give our best in our work was meant to be a witness to non-believers around us. I think that's why my godfather was so impressed last time I worked with him.

Over here, people are either completely unmotivated and do a sloppy job, or they are completely consumed with a self-promoting motivation...hurting others for the sake of their own gain. But when a believer steps in and starts to produce five times the amount of everyone else, and not for selfish gain...I think people will start to wonder. Because, to them, what other motivation is there?...none really, except for our Lord in heaven whom we are really working for.

First Real Day Out on the Streets of Hong Kong

2006-05-18T01:11:00.000-07:00

So we're finally in HK, TOGETHER!!!

Day 3 in our adventure in HK. We haven't had the chance to see or be together since we parted ways at HK airport. Wow, so much stuff has happened, and only in just two days. I've already applied for my VISA, reoriented myself to the MTR and bus system, and my sense of direction isn't too bad either. After two years, I still ended up finding my way back to the first ever trip to Pacific Coffee next to Pacific Place. That's the pic we took from the webcam at Pacific Coffee.

I'm so glad I'm here with Kat. Yesterday was so boring, just sitting at home, watching CSI and just reading books. It's really different here compared to Toronto. Without a car and dependent on minibusses (i am convinced these drivers were originally race car drivers, they didn't make it big so they opted to drive 15 passanger minibusses for the thrill of seeing foreigners faces when they accelerate on turns in the mountains on roads that have no guards...) it's not as convenient to meet up with Kat, that's all the more why I cherish the times we do have together.

It's been real cool, especially having Kat tell me about all these places, like where she used to live, and where she used to go eat, and now actually having the chance to see, hear, smell, and be at those places...never thought we'd be so blessed to actually check all this out.

For all those reading, keep praying. Not only is the weather climate here different, but the spiritual climate is too. I still remember the past two times I've been on this side of the world, I really felt such a difference in just the way people lived, with all sorts of superstitions, idols, and superficial goals. It definitely feels different when I'm here.

On the plane, Kat and I had a real divine moment when we were just crossing over Russian airspace. It was like the Lord just really took the two of us aside and reminded us that this trip isn't just about immersing ourselves in the enjoyment of shopping, eating, or seeing new places...but there is a purpose, a God-given, God-appointed purpose for the two of us here. We shouldn't expect to just live a tourist's life until we go to Macau and expect God to only speak to us there...but we want to know what God is doing here in HK, and be a part of that too. I want to hear from the Lord throughout this trip, not just one week during this trip. I don't want to waste this trip by accident, and miss out on the things of His Kingdom.

Just hours away...

2006-05-14T23:09:00.000-07:00

It's finally getting to me...

...all the hype, all the excitement, the anticipation...the knowledge that within a couple hours I'll be on a plane with Kat off to a destination we've both been talking and thinking about for months.

This will be a chapter in my life that will definitely stand out from the rest of the pages...

Praying in expectation of His moving in my life...I'll post again when I'm halfway across the world.